From the Ashes I Rise
by IdiotWithaBoxandaScrewdriver
Summary: Dying alone after being stripped of his powers and tortured for months by the X-Laws was not the way Hao envisioned dying. Salvation would come from an unlikely source however and as Hao would begin on the slow road to recovery he would have to pick up the shattered pieces of himself and decide who he was going to be.
1. Chapter 1

Hao Asakura was dying and the only thing that he could feel was relief. Hell would be a respite compared to the agony he was currently suffering. He only hoped that there wouldn't be time to inflict some new torment on him before he slipped into oblivion, the dark cell that was his home would probably be his tomb as well.

Hunger clawed at his belly, but his thirst was worse, made much more so by the water bottle sitting just out of his reach in the cell. His right arm had been pinned to the wall by iron nails driven through his forearm and his wrist. That was Marco's idea of a good time, watching him struggle to reach the water while yanking at the wounds. The wounds were infected now, oozing puss.

He had many, many more injuries, mostly welts from being whipped, but there were also burns and cuts as well. Marco had taken upon himself to slash open his face on one occasion, so there were three parallel gashes, one on his forehead, cutting through one eyebrow, one slashing across his cheeks and nose, and one bisecting his lips.

He was a shadow of his former self, all skin and bones. That he'd actually broken down a few times and pleaded for the pain to end no longer bothered him, he was dying anyways, what did it matter? No power left to him, no one to come and save him, what did he have left to hope for but death?

The iron door to his cell creaking open had him tensing up as much as his weakened body could. The people that appeared in the doorway however were not one of the X-Laws, at least not ones that he knew. They, a boy and a girl with brown skin, looked young, early twenties at best. The girl wore a hijab and the boy wore glasses. A massive tiger stepped into the cell with them.

"Jesus Christ." The boy swore, staring at him with wide eyes. "Okay, we gotta do this quick." The two of them knelt by Hao, who looked up at them, fear and confusion warring inside him. "It's okay, we're going to get you outta here."

"Simon, I need you to pull those nails out of his arm." The girl said, stroking Hao's hair away from his face. "I'm going to put my hand over your mouth, okay?" She told Hao. "We don't know if anyone is still inside and we'd rather not have to fight our way out."

Hao nodded his assent and a cool, small hand pressed over his mouth. He was too weak to scream, but managed a whimper as first one, and then the other nail was pulled out of his arm. The girl pulled gauze and cloth out of the small bag attached to the tiger and wrapped the gauze around his wounds and then put his damaged right arm in a sling.

"Okay, now I'm Hiba and this is Simon." Hiba said. "The tiger is Charlie, ze is very friendly." Charlie chuffed at him in greeting. "We're going to put you on Charlie so we can move quickly out of here, is that okay?"

Hao nodded again and he was lifted onto Charlie's back. He braced himself with his good arm as Charlie began to trot alongside Simon and Hiba. They quickly made their way out of the dungeon and up the stairs. Hao nervously watched everywhere; certain Marco would appear to stop them.

"The rest of our crew is outside creating a big distraction." Simon told him as they slipped out a small side door of the castle they were in. "We made sure we had the big bads outside before slipping in to see who they were hiding here."

"The X-Laws are considered international threats, and while this place was being monitored scans showed someone being kept in the lower reaches of this keep." Hiba explained. "Since we know the X-Laws like to use torture as justice we were unleashed on this place to see what we could find, and if possible, bring whoever we found out."

Hao was having trouble processing what he was being told; his head felt like it was full of fluff. He nodded along to what was being said, feeling more and more weary by the second. They were creeping through the forest around the keep and Hao could see the orange-red glow of flames in the distance and heard a roar not unlike the Spirit of Fire. He looked at Simon, who grinned, looking as though he had pulled off some great prank.

There was an aircraft of strange design hidden in the forest. Instead of helicopter blades or wings, it had four round flat circles with propeller blades inside them jutting out from the sides of the aircraft. They went inside and Hiba went to the front, starting up the aircraft and starting to speak with someone through, Hao assumed, some form of communications device. He wasn't ruling out telepathic connections, not when they had a tiger at their disposal who acted as tame as a kitten.

Simon helped him lie down on a narrow cot jutting out from the wall of the aircraft. He protested with a groan as he felt straps being tied around his middle, his shoulders and his legs, after a blanket was tucked around him.

"Hey, it's alright, you just don't want to be jostled around once we get this baby in the air." Simon soothed. He rested his hand on Hao's head, gently stroking his hair. Hao felt a sob rise in his throat; it'd been so long since someone had touched him with any sort of kindness. "It's okay, it's okay, you're safe now." Hao fell unconscious, his body finally succumbing to his weariness, with that soothing mantra in his mind.

%&%&%&%

Hao woke up confused and disoriented. The room he was in was white and clean. He was lying on a bed that had his upper body elevated somewhat, with clean, crisp white sheets over him. Feeling strangely detached he shifted, and found that he'd been tied down and that there was something in his mouth, going down his throat.

As his heart started to pound he felt something paw at his leg and heard a soft whine. He looked to his left side and found a small dog sitting on the bed next to him, looking up at him with big wet brown eyes. The dog was light brown and white, with oversized ears that stuck straight up, short little legs and a stump for a tail.

The dog nudged at his hand, licking it gently and Hao felt himself relax. "Well, it's good to see you are awake." The voice was male and had an Indian accent. Hao looked up at the small, dark-skinned man in the white coat. The man smiled, readjusting his glasses. "Hello, I am Doctor Akand Doshi and you are in my medical facility. Do you understand what I am saying to you?" He asked. Hao nodded his head. "Excellent, you have been here for seven days, this is the first time you have been lucid. You have noticed that you are restrained?"

Hao nodded his head again. "I will remove the restraints once I have explained a few important things. Firstly you will notice that there is a tube in your mouth." Hao crossed his eyes, trying to see the thing in his mouth. "It is a breathing tube. You stopped breathing a couple of times the first day, so it was decided that the tube would be inserted to help your body cope. I will remove the tube in another day, once I am certain that you will not have a relapse."

The doctor lifted the blanket on Hao's left side, revealing his wrist, where an IC was sticking out. "Now this IV is bringing antibiotics to your system. Unfortunately we could not give you conventional painkillers or sedatives because of how weak your body is." The Doctor said apologetically. Hao shrugged slightly, he was already in a lot less pain than he'd been in.

"Now this," Doctor Doshi continued, lifting the t-shirt Hao was wearing to reveal a tube poking out of his stomach. "Is a gastro-intestinal tube, a feeding tube essentially. That will probably stay for a few weeks, your body is severely malnourished and probably will not react well to us trying to get food in you for a while. When we do it will be small, simple meals supplemented by vitamins and then a strict diet to get your body back in health."

Hao nodded his understanding. "Now the next bit's a little unfortunate." The doctor said. "The wounds in your right arm were infected quite badly and the infection had spread. Your immune system was so compromised that even with heavy antibiotics we could not fight the infection off. In order to save the rest of you, we were forced to remove your right arm."

Hao looked to his right, seeing a bandage covering his empty right shoulder socket. He stared, not quite comprehending what had happened to him. Finally he looked up into the doctor's kind dark brown eyes. He nodded his head at him, letting him know he understood and accepted it.

"Alright, I am going to remove your restraints, please to do try to pull out anything that is currently poking out of you." Doctor Doshi said. Hao nodded his head once more and the restraint holding his left wrist was removed. He immediately touched the stump of his arm. There was some pain, but it was milder than he expected.

"I have other duties to attend to, but your friend will stay with you." Doctor Doshi said, patting the dog's head. "This is Charlie, I believe ze was one of the ones helping with your rescue."

He then left and Hao stared at the little dog. They'd called the tiger Charlie, but it wasn't possible this was the same Charlie, was it? Charlie saw his dubious look and sniffed, then swiftly turned into a black cat. Hao blinked at Charlie and then tentatively reached out to scratch Charlie's ears. Charlie let out a purr and settled down against Hao's side. Hao was lulled back to sleep by Charlie's larger-than-life purring.

%&%&%&%

When Hao woke again there was no purring cat in his bed, or a dog for that matter. There was a young woman sitting in the chair by his bed though, reading a book. Her skin was the colour of mahogany wood, her dark hair shaved close to her head. Her high cheekbones and thin lips hinted at her mixed race heritage, Hao thought it was European of some sort. She was small, her slight curves accentuated by the tailored black suit she wore.

She looked up from her book and Hao found himself fixed with a calculating stare from pale grey eyes. "Good afternoon." She said, her voice low with a southern twang. Bill had an accent like it, but it was not nearly as pronounced. "My name is Marissa Maloni, I was the supervisor in charge of your rescue mission."

Hao realized the tube had been removed from his mouth and swallowed before trying to speak. "Why…" He coughed, trying to clear his voice a little. "Why are you here?"

"Because my team has apparently decided to adopt you." Marissa replied with a faint smile. Hao just gave her a puzzled frown. "Charlie is one of mine, one of six young adults that I've taken in, and helped turn into a team. When they found you, they decided that you were going to be a part of that team, if you wanted of course. So, they, and I, have been taking four hour shifts sitting by your side, so that when you wake up, there's a friendly face nearby."

"Why?" Hao croaked.

"Because they don't like the idea of someone being alone, especially someone they feel could become one of them, Mr. Asakura." Marissa replied.

"You know who I am?" Hao asked.

"Knowledge is the name of the game in SHIELD." Marissa replied. "We know a lot about you."

"SHIELD, you deal with threats, right?" Hao asked. Luchist had once been considered for SHIELD, a long time ago. Marissa nodded her head. "Why would you rescue me then? Wouldn't it be better for you if I died?"

"We're not in the habit of allowing people to stay in situations like yours, no matter what kind of crimes they've committed." Marissa replied. "Besides, you're not exactly a threat anymore." Hao had to agree with that assessment. "And right now you're our only expert on the X-Laws. They're planning something, and we're probably going to need to stop them."

"So I'm useful to you." Hao said.

"Everyone in SHIELD is useful." Marissa replied. "What my kids want to offer you is a chance to be one of them."

"And if I don't want to be?" Hao asked.

"Tell them straight out then." Marissa said. "I'm talking about a group of people who are very wary of trusting others, do you understand? So when they find someone they want to bring into their tight little group it is a very big deal. You could hurt them a lot, and I do not want that. These are my kids, you understand. So, if you want no part of them, you give it to them straight, do you hear me?"

"I understand." Hao said. He didn't really want to be alone; he thought he'd had enough of being alone in the dark for all eternity. "I know Charlie, and Hiba and Simon, are there more?"

"Yes, we also have Kaede, who is Japanese, Imelda, who is Spanish, and Viggo, who is Jotun." Marissa said.

"What is Jotun?" Hao asked.

"Frost giant." Marissa replied. At his incredulous look she chuckled slightly. "You'll see when you meet him."

%&%&%&%

It took a few days of sleeping and waking to meet every one of his rescuers. They all had their ways of keeping him entertained. Simon and Imelda liked to put on the TV and make commentary about whatever was on. Kaede read aloud from books that she brought with her and Hiba told him stories from her childhood.

Viggo was huge, big and blue-skinned, looking as though he had been hewn out of ice. There were spiralling patterns of dark markings on his skin, as well as a pair of ridges running from forehead to the back of his skull. His eyes were bright red and he was about eight feet tall. Hao was astounded when Viggo quietly admitted that he was a runt.

Finding one of them beside him when he woke up made it easier to remind himself that this was reality, and that he wasn't going to suddenly wake up in that dark cell again. There was no way he could dream up characters such as these, seven incredibly diverse people who were not shamans. Why would he dream about being rescued in that way?


	2. Chapter 2

Star: I own nothing!

As Hao got better, his fever going away, his exhaustion slowly dying away, his thoughts intruded. They reminded him that he despised humans, and that he hated to show weakness. The presence of his new companions, that had been comforting before, began to grate on him, until one day he snapped.

"JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!" He screamed at Kaede, upon waking up to find her sitting with a book. Her dark eyes narrowed at him, reminding him of his own. "GO AWAY! I DON'T WANT YOUR PITY!"

"Well if you're going to throw a tantrum like a toddler, then I don't wanna be here." She retorted.

"Excuse me?" Hao demanded angrily.

"I said you're acting like a goddamn child, the only reason you're not flailing about is because you're too fucking weak right now." Kaede snarled back. "You know what, I changed my mind. If it's going to piss you off, I'm staying."

"Contrary parasite." Hao hissed. He wished he was strong enough to throw her out. She simply stuck her tongue out at him, ruffling her hands through her flame red Mohawk. "You humans are a disease, you should all be wiped out."

"Yeah, you say stuff like that, and I'm going to punch you in the fucking face." Kaede snarled angrily. "I hear that sort of shit all too often, I ain't taking it from you."

"Why… why would you hear that?" Hao asked, his anger fading to puzzlement.

"I'm a mutant." Kaede said, carefully enunciating each word. "I'm considered an aberration, an offense to God, something to be cured. Don't talk to me about how human beings are assholes, I know that all too well. I was abandoned by my parents for being what I am, not that it was the first time." She said bitterly.

"You were abandoned twice?" Hao asked. Kaede sighed, lowering her head.

"May as well tell you now, you're going to find out sooner or later, seeing as you're supposed to be pretty well a genius." Kaede said. "I was the first born child of Mikihisa and Keiko Asakura."

"You're… you're an Asakura?" Hao said, realizing at once that it made sense. Kaede looked a lot like Mikihisa, they shared a long narrow face, but her eyes were like Hao's, the same colour and shape.

"I was born without any sort of power." Kaede explained. "And when you showed up, someone decided it was better to send me to America to live with allies of the family. Allies who had no power either. All to protect me." She hissed those last words angrily.

"Foolish." Hao said. "Sounds like Yohmei though, he's the patriarch. He's got a plan for everything, a child without power wouldn't have fit into the plan."

"I figured." Kaede snapped. "I spent most of my childhood blaming myself for my parents making me go away. When I was fourteen my parents, my adopted parents, gave me a letter that explained why I'd been sent away. I saw right through the bullshit and got angry. My mutant ability chose that moment to manifest itself, and I blew a hole in the side of the house." She sighed. "For the second time in my life I was cast out, this time, because my parents were afraid of me."

"Do you hate them?" Hao asked.

"I did, once." Kaede said. "Nowadays, I'm just sad when I think about it. I could have easily learned to hate everyone, I did at one point."

"What changed?" Hao asked.

"Marissa came for me." Kaede said. "She wanted me and Imelda to be superheroes. She believed that we could be more. I didn't believe her at first, but Imelda wanted to try, and I'd follow Imelda to hell and back. In SHIELD, no one looks at me different because I'm a mutant. There's no room for bigotry here, so no one thinks twice about having mutant coworkers. It was strange at first, but I've gotten used to it now."

"What's your point?" Hao asked.

"My point is that not everyone is an asshole, and to lump everyone into the same category is well… racist, really." Kaede said. "I'm not saying you don't have legitimate reasons for disliking people, but I do think that calling humans parasites is a little too far. You're angry, and you're hurt, and I think you've been that for a long time."

"I don't need your pity." Hao protested.

"It's not pity, idiot." Kaede said, smiling faintly. "It's understanding. You're not going to be able to deal with this on your own, you'd go insane. What you've been through is awful and horrifying, and if you internalize all that shit, it will destroy you."

"How do you know?" Hao asked.

"Ask Marissa sometime about the scars on her arms, legs and back." Kaede replied. "Now, if you need to be alone for a little while, we'll do that for you. But we're going to come back."

"Why? Why bother with me?" Hao asked.

"Because we don't like to give up on people." Kaede replied. "And I know that when you say shit like that, it's because you're hurt, not because you actually really mean them, not right now anyways."

"And how do you know that?" Hao demanded.

"Because I used to say those sorts of things too." Kaede replied. "Would you like to be left alone for a while?"

"No." Hao replied, surprising himself. Kaede just shrugged and settled back into her chair. "What is your mutant ability, anyways?" Kaede grinned and held out her hand, palm up. A small flame came into being, burning just above her hand. "You've got to be kidding me." Hao said incredulously, much to Kaede's apparent amusement.

%&%&%&%

Hao woke from terrifying nightmares of being trapped with Marco, screaming in remembered pain. A hand touched his shoulder gently, but he shied away from it, ashamed at showing such weakness. He couldn't stop shaking, and not just because he was constantly cold, a condition that he was told was because of how much body fat he'd lost.

"I was captured, a few years ago." Marissa's voice said near him. Hao kept his eyes closed, struggling to control his breathing and not cry. "They tortured me, not only for information, but in the name of science. They were trying to find a way to implant sensors in someone's body to control their nervous system, make them into puppets basically. I got out, killed most of them in the process. I still have nightmares from that, even after all this time. What you feel you are allowed to feel."

"I don't want to feel it though." Hao replied. "I feel weak!"

"You're only weak if you let it control you." Marissa replied. "You're only weak if you let it rule your life and stop you from putting yourself back out there. I can arrange for you to speak to the same therapist that I and my kids speak to."

"You all have a therapist?" Hao asked.

"Most field agents in SHIELD do." Marissa replied. "We see and do things that most other people couldn't dream of. That leaves scars. You don't have to give me an answer now, but think on it."

"I will." Hao promised. It was easier to think about talking to someone knowing no one else would think it shameful that he needed to. "I don't think I'll be going back to sleep soon."

"No, I wouldn't have thought so." Marissa replied. "Remember though, if you do sleep, we're all nearby."

%&%&%&%

"Alright, well, you're taking in food nicely, you've got your diet plan all set out for you and I know Agent Maloni will enforce it. All the tubes and IVs are out and you are well on the mend." Doctor Doshi said with a smile. "Your friends should be down soon, do you want to be standing to meet them?"

"Yes." Hao replied firmly. Doctor Doshi chuckled and helped him up to his feet. His legs screamed in protest, shooting pains coming up from his feet all the way to his knees. He staggered a step and then found his balance, forcing himself through the pain to walk a small circle around Doctor Doshi, who laughed and clapped for him.

"You are probably one of my best patients, I will be sorry to see you go, but do not be coming back here too soon, you hear me?" He said, shaking a finger at Hao.

"I hear you." Hao replied, smiling in return. He liked the little doctor, he always made sure Hao knew exactly what kinds of procedures and medications he was having, and he was persistently cheerful.

Charlie came into the ward first, stubby tail wagging happily. It had taken a little explaining for Hao to understand that ze considered zirself to have no gender. The explanation by Charlie had been done while ze was a Klingon, a concept that needed more explaining.

Kaede came in next, her bright red Mohawk brushing the top of the door. Imelda was holding her hand, her bright hazel eyes warm and happy to see him. Simon sauntered in, wiping his glasses on his shirt and shaking his dark curly hair out of his eyes. Hiba walked in with Viggo, her small round face lighting up at the sight of him. Marissa was last, her smile widening to show off her shark-like teeth at the sight of him walking around.

"Now there's a good sight." She said. "Your medications are in your room, you'll be sharing with Simon and Viggo."

"The girls share a room too, except for the nights Imelda and Kaede want some alone time." Simon joked. Kaede swatted him on the head, black eyes narrowed in irritation. "Come on young Skywalker, let's blow this popsicle stand."

"I have nightmares, are you sure you want to share?" Hao asked, walking towards them.

"We have nightmares too." Viggo replied. He had an unidentifiable accent not unlike certain Scandinavian accents. "We help each other."

"Right, 'cause we're family." Kaede said with a smirk. She was more family than the others, having admitted that she was the older child of Mikihisa and Keiko Asakura, but despised the family for sending her away when Hao was born.

"What's this Young Skywalker business?" Hao asked. They all laughed.

"Oh we definitely have to introduce you to Star Wars." Imelda said, shaking her head.

"You changed your hair." Hao commented. She'd gotten an undercut and her curly hair was teased over her forehead.

"Yeah well, you could use one yourself." She replied, reaching out and ruffling his hair. He batted her hand away, smiling as he did so.

"Come on children." Marissa said. "That includes you, Hao."

"Technically I'm not a kid." Hao pointed out, following as they all headed out of the medical ward.

"Technically you haven't gone through puberty yet, Edward Elric." Simon replied.

"Yet another reference that I do not understand." Hao sighed.

"Don't worry, we'll catch you up." Kaede said. "Did the same thing with Viggo too."

"Oh joy." Hao said, rolling his eyes. They all laughed at him though, and he smiled faintly. They never let him take himself too seriously, and it helped when he started to feel too depressed. He saw curious glances as they walked through the halls of the underground SHIELD facility. By the time they got to Hao's new room he was breathing heavily, exhausted just by the walk.

The room was decorated with posters from movies and TV shows. There was one bunk bed and one single bed in the room. "The single's yours." Simon said. "Your meds are on the dresser, don't be forgetting to take them."

"I know." Hao sighed, sitting down on his bed.

"Your first session with the therapist is in an hour." Marissa said. "Charlie can stay with you and take you there if you want a chance to rest."

"That would be good." Hao agreed, feeling bone weary.

"It'll get easier the more you move around." Marissa said. "For now, listen to your body, rest when you need to rest, eat when you are hungry, that sort of thing."

"Yes, boss." Hao said, using one of the nicknames her kids used for her. She smiled faintly and ushered the others out until only Charlie, in zer corgi form was left. Hao lay down on his left side, cradling the stump of his right arm with his left hand. Charlie nuzzled against him and Hao allowed himself to doze.


	3. Chapter 3

Star: I own nothing!

Hao stood at the door to the therapist's office, warring with himself. He still felt foolish for doing this, weak for even considering speaking to a therapist. On the other hand he just didn't know what to expect from the therapist, what he was supposed to be doing, and that made him incredibly nervous.

Charlie whined and nudged at his ankles encouragingly. "I know, I know." Hao sighed. "You'll be here when I get out?" Charlie nodded zer head solemnly and sat down. Hao knocked on the door, feeling as though he were about to face an execution or something.

"Come on." A warm, mellow voice called from inside. Hao's insides knotted in anxiety, but he pushed open the door and stepped inside the room. There were a pair of large windows, looking out into the surrounding desert, and the soft blue colour of the walls, the paintings of landscapes, and the sparse furnishings managed to convey an air of openness.

A middle-aged woman was sitting in a comfortable armchair at the back of the small room. She was plump and short, her round face soft and inviting. She was of Native descent, looking to have some Cree in her, her short bob a sleek black with strands of white shot through it. Her eyes were hazel, and lit up when she smiled at him warmly.

"Come on dear, come and have a seat, if you want." She said. "I'm Doctor Findlay, I'm actually a Native Canadian, not American, since people always seem to ask. You may call me Mati though. You are Hao Asakura, yes?"

"Yes." Hao said, sitting down in one of the armchairs that was in the room. "I'm not really sure how this works." He admitted.

"What do you mean?" Mati asked.

"I mean, do I have to talk to you about my problems, my nightmares, my memories? I'm just not sure I can." Hao admitted.

"You don't have to tell me about anything that makes you uncomfortable." Mati assured him. "I would like it if you were able to tell me such things, it would help you work through them, but I am not going to press you. If I feel like you're holding back when you could tell me something, I may encourage you to speak, but I will not force you to say anything. We can talk about anything here, that's the only rule, that you need to talk to me about something. It doesn't matter what it is."

"Okay, I think I can manage that." Hao said, already feeling a little more relaxed. He knew that before his ordeal, before seven strange people had come into his life and refused to leave him alone, he would never have considered this. But, knowing that Marissa, she of the calm inner strength, spoke to a therapist, made it easier to consider. "Marissa comes to you?"

"Agent Maloni certainly does, but I cannot discuss what she and I speak about." Mati said. "I discuss nothing of my patients with anyone. How are you enjoying the company of Agent Maloni and her gaggle of hellions?"

"They're something else." Hao said. "They refused to give up on me, no matter how many times I told them to go away."

"Why did you want them to go away?" Mati asked.

"I thought that having them near, being comforted by their presence, was weakness." Hao said. "I still have trouble not thinking of it as weakness."

"I'm going to take a guess and say you've depended on yourself for a long time." Mati said. Hao nodded his head. "It's second nature to want to be independent for you. It will take time for that feeling to fade, but I think you're taking steps in the right direction. Marissa has a lot of good things to say about you."

"I don't understand Marissa. I don't understand how she feels about me." Hao said.

"What do you mean?" Mati asked.

"Her hellions, she's like a mother to them, but she doesn't treat me like that. It's like she's holding back." Hao explained.

"Perhaps she is." Mati replied. "Perhaps she's not quite sure how she should treat you."

"Why?" Hao asked.

"Would you enjoy being treated like one of her children?" Mati asked.

"No." Hao said flatly.

"You look very young." Mati told him. "It's likely Marissa is trying to avoid offending you by treating you like a child. My advice would be to speak to her though, figure out how to communicate the way you wish to be treated by her."

"I'm not used to talking to people like that." Hao sighed. "I don't make friends, I had people who followed me, but for the most part they just took orders from me, I didn't have much of a relationship with most of them."

"Most of them?" Mati queried.

"I don't want to talk about it." Hao said. Mati nodded her head. "I'm just not sure how to do relationships anymore."

"Well, I think you'll have a lot of help with that." Mati said. "How do Marissa's hellions treat you?"

"Like I'm one of them." Hao said. "Teasing me, arguing with me, sharing their everything with me."

"And how do you feel about that?" Mati asked.

"It annoyed me a bit at first, once I started to get stronger, I mean." Hao admitted. "But I've gotten used to it. It's… different, but not bad. Keeps me grounded, I think."

"That's a good thing to have, something to ground you." Mati said, sounding pleased. She looked down at her watch. "I'm afraid we're out of time for now. For simplicity's sake, do you want to keep your weekly appointment to the same time each week?"

"That would work fine." Hao agreed.

"If you ever need to talk to me outside of the appointments, just come to my office, I'm here all week, nine to five, I've got enough blank spots for emergency sessions." Mati told him.

"I'll remember that." Hao said, standing up and heading for the door. Charlie was waiting for him, zer behind wiggling happily when ze saw him. "Come on then, let's go find the others."

%&%&%&%

Hao didn't sleep much that night, not wanting to wake the others with his screaming when the nightmares started. He had spent a lot of time staring at the nightlight, a cheerful little thing made to look like Mickey Mouse. Apparently Viggo was scared of the dark, and Hao was somewhat glad of that, since he didn't relish the idea of complete darkness anymore either.

When the clock that was on the messy dresser in the room told him that it was after six in the morning Hao decided it was time to get up. He slipped on the mid-calf high combat boots he'd been given, struggled a moment with his sweatpants and t-shirt, but managed to dress himself without waking his roommates.

After a moment of consideration he slipped on the oversized hoodie that Kaede had given him one day in medical after watching him shiver. It hadn't helped the chill in his body, since it was due to his organs not being properly insulated by fat anymore, but something about its size and the softness was comforting, especially when no one was around because the team was on a mission.

There was a small part of him that rebelled at the weakness, rebelled at all of this. It was the part of him that made him snap at people occasionally still, and made him reluctant to speak about himself and his experiences. It was only an echo now, the last visage of his former self. It was who he had been before, but he wasn't that anymore. He wasn't sure who he was anymore.

He remembered the key card that would allow him entry into places. Not all of the rooms, there were some spaces off limits to him, but he did need it to get back into his room. He knew where he wanted to go, what he wanted to see, after months and months of isolation. Six months, the doctor had told him, six months of torture and darkness.

He got into the elevator, knowing that attempting to climb any flights of stairs could possibly kill him with his heart as weak as it was at the moment. He rode it all the way to the top and the doors opened, bringing in a blast of still cool desert air. He breathed it in, savouring the feeling of cleanness in his lungs.

He stepped out onto the roof of the base, lifting his face to the sun, letting its warmth soak into his chilled bones. He could see mountains in the distance, but all around, once you got past the buildings of the base and the small air field, was desert. Even in the early morning Hao could feel the heat rising and knew that come noon it would be blisteringly hot.

As he stepped further into the light he saw something that made him freeze. Marissa was ahead of him, doing yoga on the roof. Hao remained silent, seeing more of her than he normally did, dressed as she was in a tank top and a pair of form fitting yoga pants.

Her left arm was dominated by burn scars that went from just above her wrist all the way up to her shoulder. On her other arm he could see the scars where her tormentors had inserted sensors under her skin. He could also now see the gill slits in her neck, three on each side. Normally they would be hidden by the collar of her shirt.

He watched her move, envious of the grace and strength she displayed so casually. "You're up early, Hao." She commented without looking at him, startling him out of his observation.

"How'd you know?" Hao asked.

"Well the elevator isn't exactly quiet, and plus you're the only one on this whole godforsaken base that wouldn't be pestering me for some reason or another as soon as you saw me." Marissa replied, lifting her hands to the sky, stretching up on her tiptoes. She spread her fingers wide and the sunlight caught in the translucent webbing between her fingers.

"May I ask about the burn scars on your arm?" Hao asked carefully.

"Not that exciting to be honest." Marissa replied, lifting one leg out straight behind her. "I used to do a lot of underwater work, thanks to my mutation, and I used to be the only one in SHIELD that Namor and the Atlanteans would deal with, so… Anyways, got caught in the edge of the blast radius of an underwater explosion, melted my wet suit to my skin. That was not fun to remove, I'll tell you that much."

"Sounds horrible." Hao replied.

"Really?" Marissa asked, turning to him with one eyebrow raised. "Considering your former method of attacking people, I would have thought that talking about burns would not faze you."

Hao grimaced at that, dropping his eyes. "I'm not the same man I was." He murmured. Guilt was something new to him, something that had been growing since waking up in SHIELD and being taken care of so kindly by one of the people he would have destroyed without a second thought.

"I'm not here to pass judgement on the things you done." Marissa said gently, walking over to him. "There are people who would think that some of the things that I've done are pretty horrible."

"It's different." Hao muttered.

"What makes it different is simply that the people who you killed were no longer people to you." Marissa said. "You stopped remembering that they had their own lives, their own loves, their own dreams, and that made it so much easier, made it so easy it just became routine. We've had people like that in SHIELD, usually they're the ones we wind up hunting down."

"You don't detach yourself from the people you kill?" Hao asked. "How do you stay sane?"

"By remembering the people that are alive because of what I did." Marissa said. "And by talking about it too. I know that's not one of your strong points but if you want to avoid slipping into old patterns, then it's something you should consider."

"I don't even know if I could go back to that anymore." Hao admitted. "Marco, what he did… I saw what I could become, in Marco. My hatred had been building for centuries, who's to say that once I had the power to bring humanity to its collective knees that I didn't decide to torment them before killing them off? That's not something I ever wanted to become."

"What do you want to become?" Marissa asked.

"I don't know anymore." Hao replied honestly. Marissa stared into his eyes, quietly weighing his response.

"Well, wouldn't be the first time someone's come to SHIELD looking to redefine themselves." She said finally. "You might benefit from doing some yoga." She added.

"Pardon?" Hao asked.

"Help build up your stamina, build some muscle without tiring you out too much." Marissa said. "At least at first, anyways, keep with the simple positions."

"Maybe." Hao said. "It would be nice to try to get back into shape."

"You're going to have to take it slow." Marissa warned.

"I know. I don't fancy collapsing and winding up in Medical again with Doctor Doshi scolding me because I stupidly went beyond my body's limits." Hao replied.

"It's easy to forget that you're not as young as you look." Marissa said with a faint smile. "You approach this with far more maturity than I expect."

"You don't quite know how to deal with me, do you?" Hao asked, remembering what Mati had said.

"No, I don't." Marissa answered honestly. "I can't treat you like one of my kids, because I don't think you'd appreciate that much, and I don't really want to treat you like just a subordinate either. How do you want to be treated?"

"I don't really know." Hao admitted with a shrug. His right arm, or rather the memory of his right arm, itched and he made a face, knowing there was no way to scratch a phantom limb.

"What I think you could use right now is a friend." Marissa said carefully.

"I don't have very good experience with friends." Hao replied.

"You're like my kids, don't trust easy." Marissa commented. "I understand, and so do they, that's why they're so insistent about adopting you, I think."

"They're kind of crazy." Hao said, smiling faintly. Smiling surprised him these days. He didn't smile often, not for real, but now he found himself doing it a little more, even if they were just tentative.

"More than you know." Marissa sighed. "Come on, breakfast will be on soon."


	4. Chapter 4

Star: I own nothing!

"We are not showing him the Star Wars prequels, like ever." Simon argued as Kaede searched through the rec room's impressive stack of movies. "It's bad enough I watched them, now I know better, he doesn't need to see them to understand the story."

"You know what the Phantom Menace wasn't actually that bad, besides Jar Jar anyways." Imelda commented, one leg slung over the arm of one of the beat up couches in the room. "Other than that they should not have existed."

"Well, maybe he'll want to watch them after he's seen the originals, let him decide when the time comes." Kaede said irritably. "Aha, found you!" She brandished a DVD box triumphantly in the air. "Also found a shit-ton of Disney movies, which means we need to have a marathon sometime."

Hao settled down on one of the couches, Charlie settling on his lap and Simon and Kaede on either side of him once the movie was popped in. He was a little dubious about movies, his only experiences with television had been the reality shows that Luchist enjoyed, and he had considered them to be the most idiotic things in existence. He would keep an open mind about this though, especially since they were all so excited about it.

The movie wasn't bad to be honest. Hao thought that Leia was probably his favourite, with Han a close second. The method of destruction of the Death Star seemed far too convenient for Hao, but it was an enjoyable story, with some good themes to it.

"What do you think, wanna go right away into the next one?" Simon asked when the credits started rolling. Hao was about to answer when Marissa stood, gaining the attention of the others. The way they watched her reminded Hao of a pack of eager dogs, or maybe wolves.

"We've been called out." She said calmly. "Giant calamari in Florida, Avengers are busy with Loki again."

"That guy needs to take a fucking chill pill." Kaede grumbled, getting to her feet. The rest of them followed, muttering as they headed to the air field outside. Marissa waited for a moment, gesturing Hao to come close.

"Go to Mission Control, it's up on the highest floor, overlooking the air field. I've told them you were coming up, so it won't be a problem getting in. They'll be bringing footage in from our fight for us to look at, from surveillance cameras and the news crews that are out there." Marissa told him.

"Why?" Hao asked.

"So you can see what we do." Marissa replied with a faint smile. She turned and followed the others out. Hao waited a moment and then walked to where she had told him Mission Control was. Despite his leisurely pace he was still panting by the time he got there, feeling his heart palpitating in his chest.

The agents manning Mission Control merely looked up when he came in and indicated an empty seat for him to sit in. He flopped down into it gratefully, hissing at the sharp pains in his feet and knees from just walking.

The various screens in the room were showing a battle on the streets of Miami from many different angles. Some of the screens had news station logos on them, some of them were grainy and in black and white; Hao assumed those were surveillance cameras. Every one of them showed Omega Team dealing with giant squids that seemed to be doing their best to destroy as much of the city as possible.

Omega Team, with Marissa on a fire escape with a good view of the battle, fought against the creatures. Imelda and Viggo threw cars at the squids, with Viggo also producing ice projectiles to throw at them. Charlie darted around them in bird form, distracting them and driving them back towards the water. Hiba produced bright lights with magic, driving them back further still, and shielding civilians trying to get out of the way of flailing tentacles. Kaede flew overhead as a bright flame, further distracting the creatures.

Hao didn't see Simon until he noticed the figure jumping from roof to roof, shocking any tentacles that got too close to civilians or large buildings. Hao watched him for a moment, and then realized that no one else was keeping an eye on him that he could see. He knew that in battle someone should always be watching the others, making sure they didn't come to harm. If Simon had fallen, or gotten hit, it might have taken too long for someone to get to him. He made a note to tell Marissa about it later, if she hadn't spotted it already.

Finally the squids seemed to have had enough abuse and retreated back into the ocean. "So you just watch them fight?" Hao asked as the team got back into their quinjet.

"No, we also keep an eye on military channels and such, make sure no one's moving in to create more of a mess of things." One of the agents replied mildly. "It's especially important in foreign countries that we don't have someone trying to shoot down our team."

"I see." Hao said.

"They'll be landing soon." The other agent said. "Your access allows you to go out onto the air field, just watch out for landing aircraft."

"Thank you." Hao said. The agent smiled and waved goodbye to him. Hao smiled and walked down to the air field. He was in time for the quinjet to touch down. The team whooped when they saw him, running over to pat him on the back or tussle his hair, talking, or barking, a mile a minute.

"Alright, alright." Marissa said. "All of you need to go have showers, debrief is in half an hour." The team bounded off to the showers. "So, what did you think?"

"The surveillance, do you keep it as a training tool?" Hao asked.

"I do." Marissa replied.

"I noticed that while Simon was jumping from building to building no one had eyes on him, I thought that was a bit unsafe, in case anything happened to him." Hao commented.

"You have good eyes." Marissa said approvingly. Hao couldn't suppress the rush of pride he felt at her words and felt vaguely foolish for it. "Could use another good set of eyes."

"Why not ask Mission Control?" Hao asked.

"The trouble is my kids don't like to take orders from anyone except me if they can help it." Marissa explained. "And most of the time, if another agent is feeding me information, they try to get me to call out orders that are unnecessary. If I do allow you to speak to me during missions, do I have your agreement that if I tell you that my kids are fine, that your fears are unfounded, that you will listen?"

"You know them better than I." Hao replied with a shrug. "I may ask for reasoning, however."

"That I can work with." Marissa said with a small smile.

%&%&%&%

Hao undressed in the small private examination office in SHIELD medical. He was starting to get the hang of getting his clothes on and off with only one hand. He was trying to avoid looking at himself in the full length mirror that was in the room, but when he was naked he couldn't help himself.

He was still terribly thin, even after a month and a bit. He could see that he was beginning to fill in a little bit, but his ribs still showed sharply and his cheeks were still hollow. Dark circles ringed his sunken eyes, a testament to his terrible sleep patterns. All over his body scars showed on his skin, arms, legs, torso, face, and back, almost all of his visible skin was marred. Thankfully Marco had not been so perverted to try and damage his genitals, but that was a small comfort.

"Are you ready in there?" Doctor Doshi asked from outside the door.

"Ah, yes." Hao replied, pulling the paper gown on. There was no way for him to tie it up behind him, so he sat on the examination table, trying to make sure most of his ass wasn't showing. Doctor Doshi came in, smiling benignly at him.

"You're looking better than the last time I saw you." The diminutive doctor said cheerily. "I like your hair cut." Hao fingered the strands of his hair. He'd allowed Kaede to cut his hair for him and it now was a lot shorter than it had been, hanging down to between his shoulder blades instead of his waist. Kaede had apparently done her own hair and Imelda's while they were living on the streets. "Now, let's have a proper look at you."

Hao sat patiently through examinations of his eyes, his ears and his throat, and then through examinations of his heart beat and lung functions. Finally the doctor got him to stand on a scale, so that he could weigh him.

"Well, you're up four pounds, that wonderful!" Doctor Doshi declared.

"Four pounds isn't much." Hao pointed out.

"Weight gain means that your body's actually breaking down food properly, and you're getting enough food that some can be stored instead of all of it being used for energy." Doctor Doshi explained. "If you keep gaining at this weight, you should be at your target weight in less than two months."

"Once I'm at my target weight I can start to train?" Hao asked.

"Well, there are other things to consider, like your heart murmur, but if all goes well, yes." The doctor said with a nod.

"Marissa has been getting me to do a bit of yoga, is that okay?" Hao asked.

"I trust Agent Maloni knows how to work within your limitations, just remember to listen to your body, if you are tired, sleep, if you are hungry, eat, and so on." Doctor Doshi cautioned.

"I know." Hao said. "I will."

"Ahh, if only all of my patients were as cooperative as you are." Doctor Doshi said with a jovial smile.

%&%&%&%

"You'll never believe what they're starting to do now." Hao said to Mati at their next meeting.

"Who?" Mati asked.

"My… the team, Omega team." Hao said.

"Ah, what are they doing?" Mati asked with a chuckle.

"Whenever they see me struggling to do something with one hand, like eating, they'll put their own dominant hand behind their back and try to do everything with one hand too." Hao said. "At first I considered getting angry, but then I realized they were trying to make me feel comfortable, by showing solidarity I guess."

"And so you didn't get mad?" Mati asked.

"What would be the point?" Hao asked. Truth be told part of him had still wanted to get angry, the part of him that hated being pitied or seen as weak, but that echo was fading, and he was learning to take help where it was being given. "They wanted to help me feel better about the whole thing and that was how they did it."

"They seem to be very attached to you." Mati observed.

"It's like sitting in the middle of a pile of puppies." Hao commented. "I think Marissa would like to see me in a supervisor position with her. She wants me to be monitoring their missions from here."

"Well that's good, gives you something to do." Mati said.

"I feel useful again." Hao commented. "She has asked me my opinion as well when we watch their training exercises."

"So no more confusion on your relationship with Marissa?" Mati asked.

"No more confusion." Hao agreed. "I still don't know what I want to do with myself, once I'm well again."

"At this point I think it's best to take things one day at a time." Mati replied. "Worrying about your future is just one more source of anxiety that you don't need. Rest, heal, and if by the time you are well enough to be thinking of career paths and you have some idea of what you wish, then good on you. If not, you will have help."

"I'm not used to having help." Hao commented.

"I'm guessing it's hard for you to ask for it too." Mati said.

"I feel as though it's a weakness. I've been able to get along fine on my own for so long, it feels like I'm admitting to vulnerability." Hao said. "Which is silly to cling to, because I've already displayed my vulnerability to all of them."

"Pride is not so easily put aside." Mati replied. "You are doing good though, to acknowledge these feelings within yourself."

"It just seemed useless to not." Hao shrugged. "It's never helped in the past to bury my emotions."

"It usually doesn't." Mati agreed. "They simply build beneath the surface until they burst free, usually destructively."

"Yes, precisely." Hao said, thinking on his last battle, all that anger, hate and resentment just pouring out of him. He'd gone insane, he realized that now.

"You speak as though you have experience." Mati commented.

"I'd rather not talk about it, not right now." Hao said, looking away. Mati merely nodded her head and went onto a different subject.


	5. Chapter 5

Star: I own nothing!

Hao came awake, panting and sweating. Panicked, he realized that his right arm was pinned and he began to hyperventilate. "Hey, Hao, you okay?" It took a moment for Hao to remember who the voice belonged to.

"Simon, my arm, my right arm is pinned." He gasped out. Simon put a hand on his back. He jerked in response, forgetting who he was with for a second again.

"Alright, Hao, I want you to look at your right arm, can you do that for me?" Simon asked. Hao nodded his head and opened his eyes, looking at his right arm. He was met with the sight of his empty shoulder socket. "Okay, now can you sit up?"

The sight of his empty arm made the feeling of being pinned go away and Hao sat up, hanging his head and avoiding looking Simon in the eyes. He felt ashamed that he'd panicked like that, especially since he knew his arm was gone.

"Hey, half the time I wake up I think my asshole of a stepfather is standing over me, takes a second to remember he's in a hospital in a vegetative state." Simon said, sitting down on Hao's bed with him.

"Your stepfather?" Hao asked.

"Don't know what my mom ever saw in him, but he used to beat on me all the time. I took it because there wasn't much I could do." Simon explained. "And then one day, for some reason, he went after my mom. Well, I got mad, my mutant abilities manifested themselves and I accidently electrocuted him. Not that I'm very sorry about doing it." He added. "Went on the run after that, my mom wasn't going to protect me. Marissa found me when the police finally caught up to me and had me in jail."

"When I first came here if someone made a fist near me I would flinch." Viggo said from his bunk. "I was so used to being picked on by the other Jotun that it took me a little while to remember that I was not there."

"The mind is an asshole, basically." Simon said. "Tricks you into thinking things are real that aren't, and making you react to things as though they're going to hurt you even when you know they're not going to. Honestly, for as much shit as you've gone through, you're adjusting pretty good. We thought we were going to have to deal with you being afraid of us all, but…" He shrugged his shoulders. "You wanna try going back to sleep?"

"Not really." Hao replied.

"Me neither." Simon said. "Hey, let's go play video games."

"I only have one arm, how would that work?" Hao pointed out.

"Well, let's go figure it out." Simon replied, a grin on his face. Hao sighed, but let Simon drag him to his feet and out of the room.

%&%&%&%

Hao found himself back in Medical, not because he was injured, but because of a common cold. The problem was, since his immune system was still so weak, a simple cold could severely weaken him, so he'd been taken to Medical, where Doctor Doshi could monitor him.

"I was hoping I'd stay out of Medical for longer than three weeks." He croaked as Doctor Doshi fitted a nasal cannula on him. He was having trouble breathing, and the boost of oxygen was welcome.

"Well, we'd rather not have this devolve into something like pneumonia." The Doctor replied pragmatically. Hao nodded briefly, and then a coughing fit doubled him over, shaking his still frail frame. When he had finished he leaned back against his pillows, panting for air.

"Pneumonia probably would be bad." Hao agreed hoarsely. Doctor Doshi smiled, checking the IV drip full of medicine fussily.

"You rest, best thing for you right now." He ordered. Hao relaxed into the bed, just as the team came barrelling in. He smiled at all of them. "You can all stay for a short time, but he needs to rest, is that understood?" Doctor Doshi said sternly, cutting through the hubbub they all caused.

Charlie hopped up onto the bed, turning into a big fluffy cat in the process. Ze purred as ze kneaded his stomach. "How you feeling, Skywalker?" Simon asked.

"Like shit." Hao replied. Hiba gently stroked his hair. Hao closed his eyes and leaned into the touch. Starved of physical affection for so long he soaked up the casual touches the team bestowed upon him. Every kind touch seemed to erase the violence of Marco's treatment, one bit at a time.

"You want one of us to stick around, like we did the last time?" Kaede asked.

"That would be nice." Hao agreed, petting Charlie's fur.

"Once you're better, we're starting with Indiana Jones." Imelda said. "We'd do it now, but you're all feverish and sleepy, so you can't appreciate it like you should."

"Lucky for me." Hao croaked out. Truthfully he enjoyed movie nights, not only for the movies themselves, but for the entertaining commentary all of them supplied throughout. They couldn't wait until he was well enough to start eating junk food, apparently.

"We should tell you about the first time some Asgardians met Viggo." Kaede said.

"Do tell." Hao encouraged, closing his eyes. He dozed easily as they talked around them, feeling safe with them around him.

%&%&%&%

Hao didn't know how long he slept, but when he woke he found Charlie still curled up against him and Imelda sitting in the chair next to him. "The others get bored?" He asked hoarsely.

"Nah, they're running scenarios on how to take me and Charlie out if we ever went bad for some reason." Imelda replied calmly.

"You… you plan for that?" Hao asked. The team seemed so close. He couldn't imagine them having to take out one of their own.

"Of course." Imelda said. "It makes sense. I mean it sounds horrible, but none of us want to see death and destruction and if we can take them down without killing them we'll try, but we have to be prepared to do that too."

"You really think one of you will go bad?" Hao asked.

"Not really. It's more of a problem of one of us getting mind controlled by someone." Imelda said. "And at that point, the person being mind controlled would rather be killed than have killed a lot of innocent people. Wouldn't be easy for us to do, mind you. I can't even fathom having to kill Kaede, I mean she's the best thing that ever happened to me."

"Will you marry her?" Hao asked.

"Someday, I hope." Imelda said, smiling fondly. "I know she's the one for me, but we're both so young yet, what if she finds someone else?"

"Do you really think she'll find someone else she can trust as much as you?" Hao pointed out. Imelda grinned and ducked her head.

"Wasn't really lucky in love before Kaede, I guess I still have trouble believing that this is for real." She replied. "My first girlfriend…" She bit her lip, looking down at her hands.

"Go on." Hao encouraged. "I won't judge."

"When I figured out I was into girls I fell head over heels for a girl who was a little older than me. I was ecstatic when she agreed to go out with me, it was a dream come true at first." Imelda said. "Then she started saying things, like maybe you should get a salad instead of fries, you're looking a little chubby. I brushed them off, thinking she was just looking out for me, but it eventually devolved into her telling me I was fat, that I was ugly, that no one else would ever love me."

"And you believed her." Hao guessed. Imelda nodded, wiping at her eyes.

"Even after I figured out she was full of shit I was too scared to leave, because she told me that if I ever left her she'd kill herself." She said, sniffling. "I finally worked up the courage to tell her that we were over when she was put in psychiatric care. I thought that it would be over then. She told my parents we'd been seeing each other."

"That was a bad thing?" Hao asked.

"Very bad. My parents are very Catholic, they freaked out about it. I was basically on house arrest for months while they tried to make me straight again." Imelda said. "Finally they told me I was going to a straight camp."

"Straight camp?" Hao asked.

"It's a place where you're taught to be straight again. Most of those places are downright abusive and I wasn't having any of it." Imelda said, lip curling up in a snarl. "So, I ran away. Met Kaede, managed to work up the guts to ask her to be my girlfriend and the rest is history."

"Do you ever worry that Kaede will do to you what your first girlfriend did?" Hao asked.

"In the beginning I did, but not anymore." Imelda said. "I do often feel like she'll wise up and realize I'm not that great and not want to go out with me anymore."

"Have you seen the way she looks at you?" Hao replied. "Besides, an Asakura is nothing but loyal. Don't tell her I said that though, she'd probably smack me over the head for calling her an Asakura."

"She definitely would." Imelda said with a laugh. "You know, Marissa's the closest thing any of us have to a parent anymore." She added quietly.

"I noticed." Hao replied. "She takes her role seriously."

"You better fucking believe it." Imelda laughed. "Bugging us to eat our veggies and go to sleep at night." She smiled warmly. "Don't know what we would have done without her. Probably wound up dying on the streets or becoming a supervillain."

"Maybe if I'd had someone like her, things would have turned out differently." Hao murmured. Imelda gave him a confused look, but didn't ask what he meant.

"Yeah, but then you wouldn't have met us." Imelda replied.

"That's true." Hao said. "Silver linings, and all that, I suppose."

"Yeah." Imelda agreed. "God's plan and all that." Hao chuckled slightly, coughing in the process. "I shouldn't be getting you too wound up." Imelda said, touching his cheek gently.

"I'm feeling better." Hao commented.

"And we want to keep it that way." Imelda replied.

Someone poked their head into the room that Hao didn't recognise. "Shit, well, you're certainly not Tasha." The man commented, sliding into the room. He was compact, muscular, with a lined face and wide nose. He had short dirty blonde hair and bright, intelligent blue eyes.

"Nope, we're not Tasha." Imelda replied. "How you doing Clint?"

"Eh, not bad, all things considered." Clint shrugged. "Didn't know you'd been picking up strays though." He said, eying Hao with curiosity.

"Well we figured why let Marissa have all the fun." Imelda said. Hao almost bristled indignantly, but realized that Imelda was just joking around with the man. "This is Hao, we rescued him a few weeks back."

"Ah, I see." Clint said, striding up to the bed. "Clint Barton, aka Hawkeye, how you doing?" He stuck out his left hand for Hao to shake. Hao took it, feeling the strength in Clint's fingers.

"Hawkeye?" He asked.

"I'm an archer, work with the Avengers." Clint explained.

"Hey, what are you doing here, anyways?" Imelda asked.

"Me and Tasha still get missions sometimes, course they're a little harder to do now that our faces are everywhere, but orders is orders, right?" Clint shrugged. "Tasha took a bullet to the gut, this was the nearest SHIELD base. She's supposed to still be in Medical, but I think she's done a runner."

"She's probably wherever Marissa is, you know those two like to trade tips on how to dismantle people." Imelda said.

"Tasha's also known as the Black Widow, she's probably the most deadly person alive." Clint explained to Hao. "So, you gonna become a superhero too?"

"I've only got one arm." Hao said, gesturing to his right side.

"So what, I wear hearing aids." Clint shrugged. "Can't hear a damned thing otherwise. Sometimes I turn them off on purpose, when Tony's talking, or Fury's on a rant, that sort of thing." He grinned impishly. "Disabilities shouldn't stop you."

"Okay, then I have no powers." Hao said.

"Neither do I, neither does Tasha, we're just very good at we do." Clint replied. "I'm an archer, never miss my target, and Tasha, well, Tasha is Tasha. Just gotta find a skill that useful in a battle situation. I'm sure Marissa could teach you swordplay."

"I'm not sure I want to become that, though." Hao protested.

"You don't have to be." Clint replied. "I'm just saying, if you ever do, not to worry about disabilities or lack of fancy powers."

"Noted." Hao said. Clint grinned and patted Charlie's head, before sauntering out the door again.

"Well, he was… interesting." Hao commented.

"Wait until you meet the other Avengers." Imelda replied wryly.


	6. Chapter 6

Star: I own nothing!

"It's good to see you looking well again." Mati commented as Hao sat down in her office.

"It's good to be feeling well again." Hao replied. "I hate feeling sick."

"I don't think anyone enjoys being sick." Mati replied with a chuckle.

"When I had a group of followers I did my best to hide being sick, because I didn't want them to think of me as being weak." Hao commented. "I felt like it would make me lesser in their eyes. I thought I had to act like I was not even human anymore."

"Why did you feel the need to do that?" Mati asked.

"I wanted to convince myself that I wasn't human either." Hao replied. "It made it easier to kill, to think of other people as something less than me. It made it easier to keep my followers in thrall too, let them think that I couldn't fail, so they would not abandon me. And if I distanced myself from them like that, I wouldn't get attached either."

"What about now?" Mati asked.

"I'm learning to let go." Hao replied. "I still don't like being sick, don't like being weak, but instead of abandoning me, my friends, they crowd even closer, wanting to take care of me instead." He smiled a little bit. "It's hard not to feel better when you've got a shapeshifter lying in bed with you with everyone else trying to tell stories to make you fall asleep a little easier. The part that cautions me against trusting anyone grows fainter every day."

"May I ask why you felt that you could not trust anyone?" Mati asked.

"I've had bad experiences with trust." Hao replied. "Everyone that I've ever trusted has left me.

"Do you ever worry about your new friends doing that?" Mati asked.

Hao was silent for a moment, trying to figure out how to explain. "I don't think they are capable of breaking my trust, to be honest." He said. Mati tilted her head at him, waiting for him to continue. "All of them have been abandoned before, and so have a hard time trusting, so when they do find someone they believe they can trust, they kind of latch onto that person, and would refuse to let anything happen to lose that trust. It's a little unhealthy to be honest, but it's what works for them."

"So you're not afraid to trust them, because you know because they've been betrayed that they would refuse to betray one of their own?" Mati asked.

"Basically." Hao said. "Imelda was talking about how they run drills on how to take down one of their own if necessary. I believe that if they ever had to kill one of their own, none of them would want to go on living. They'd all be dead in a week if it happened."

"Not exactly the healthiest dynamic, but it is what it is at this point." Mati agreed. "Hopefully with a few more years they'll learn to be a little less co-dependant, but right now it's not hurting them. How does it feel to know you're included in that dynamic?"

"Scary, but reassuring at the same time." Hao replied. "Scary because I keep feeling like they are going to want something from me, but they never do, they just are content to have me with them. For so long I've surrounded myself people who I made promises to, who expected things of me, so this has been like a breath of fresh air. I'm just scared that it will end."

"Have you ever brought your fears up to your friends?" Mati asked.

"I'm worried they'll find me foolish." Hao admitted, looking away from her. "And I know it's foolish to think that way too."

"Several weeks of trusting people does not erase the years of knowing you could not trust anyone." Mati replied. "You're going to feel such things for years to come."

"Like Imelda feeling like she's not good enough for Kaede." Hao supplied. Mati nodded her head. "Two steps forward, one step back." Hao sighed.

"You're already doing a lot better than some of my patients." Mati replied. "Some of them took weeks and weeks to start opening up to me, but you decided you were ready from the very beginning. You want to be helped."

"What I want is to feel a little less like I've been shattered into pieces." Hao replied.

"That will take time." Mati assured him gently. "Redefining yourself is never easy, but at least you have friends to help you along."

%&%&%&%

"I need to talk to you all about something serious." Hao said, interrupting an argument between Kaede and Simon about whether they were going to watch Kung-Fu Panda or Toy Story.

"Serious? How serious, like life threateningly serious?" Simon asked.

"No, just, something that's been on my mind." Hao said, fussing with the strings on his hoodie.

"Come on, you know you can tell us anything." Hiba encouraged, sitting down next to him.

"I just keep waiting for the other shoe to drop." Hao said. "I'm just waiting for when you stop finding me interesting and don't want anything to do with me anymore."

"Never gonna happen." Kaede said.

"Yeah, you're stuck with us for life, even if you decide to leave, we'll be calling you and emailing you and coming to visit." Simon said with a wicked grin on his face. "You can't escape us now."

"And I know that." Hao said. "Rationally I know that, but…"

"Instinctively you're braced for rejection." Hiba said. "It took a long time for me to be okay being alone in a room with Simon." She said. "Even though he was my friend, the only men I knew were ones who had hurt me, and I was afraid that one day he would turn out to be that kind of man too."

Hao knew that Hiba had been married off young, as was the custom in her village. She'd been quick to inform him that her village had been unusual in her country, that few people still did such things. But, her husband had been cruel to her, and one day she used magic to curse off his genitals, and so had been chased out of her home.

"It takes a long time for such thoughts to go away." Hiba said. "And constant reassurances, so don't be afraid to tell us when you're feeling unsure of yourself."

"That might be hard for me." Hao admitted.

"We know, trust me, we know." Kaede said, nodding her head. "Ask Marissa how long it took some of to open up to her sometime."

"I can imagine." Hao said, smiling faintly.

"Now, do you want to watch a movie about a talking panda or talking toys?"

%&%&%&%

Despite having settled into a rhythm at the base, Hao still woke in the middle of the night, breathless and panicked from nightmares. Sometimes Viggo or Simon would be awake to comfort him, but other times he was alone. On those nights, like tonight, he would quietly get up and go to the roof, to stare up at the stars.

This night Marissa was there, and Hao was startled to see her smoking a cigarette. "We all have our bad habits." She commented with a slight smile, seeing his look.

"No, sorry, I've just never seen you do it." Hao replied.

"I've been trying to cut back." Marissa said. "Seems my kids want to make sure I stick around for a long time. It's not something I had to think about before. Most SHIELD field agents don't live long enough to see their fiftieth birthday. The odds of me dying of lung cancer before the job got were negligible."

"How'd you start?" Hao asked.

"I was young and stupid." Marissa replied with a shrug. "Though never stupid enough to try blowing smoke out through my gills." She added with a grin.

"What are you doing out here so late?" Hao asked.

"Oh, just brooding." Marissa sighed. "My nights are filled with worries."

"Worries?" Hao repeated.

"Worries about my kids, memories of past close calls, worries that I'm not doing enough for them, for you, etcetera, etcetera." Marissa said with a wry smile.

"You worry about me?" Hao asked, feeling touched by the thought.

"Right now I worry about you the most." Marissa said. "I hope you don't find that offensive."

"I would have, at one point." Hao admitted. "It seems pointless now though. You're trying to look out for me, after all."

"We all are." Marissa said. "Those kids of mine, well, they're family to each other, and they want you to be a part of that."

"I'm actually surprised to find that I want to be a part of that too." Hao admitted. "I haven't had a family for a long time." He added wistfully. "My mother…" He paused, biting his lip.

"If you're not ready to talk about it yet, don't worry about it." Marissa said gently. "You don't need to explain yourself to me."

"Someday." Hao said. It was as much of a promise to himself as to her. "I sometimes find myself wondering if Yoh would have accepted me with as much ease as they have. I know his friends would not have."

"I do not know your brother, so I could not even speculate." Marissa said. "Tell me, does Kaede remind you of him at all?"

"Not really." Hao said. "She's more like me, although the quick temper is something she inherited from her grandfather. I'd say she's similar to Yoh in that they are both unfailingly loyal to the ones they care about."

"Hmm." Marissa blew out a bit of smoke from her mouth. "Will you tell me about him?"

"He's kind, kinder than anyone I've ever known, even to those who had harmed him." Hao said. "I thought that was weakness, before."

"It's not easy being kind to those who have hurt you." Marissa said.

"I know." Hao said. "Trust me, I know. That's one thing I've never been good at."

"Nor I." Marissa admitted.

"Honestly I didn't pay much attention to him, besides seeing how his power had progressed." Hao admitted. "I wonder if he even mourned me. I wonder what he'd do if he knew I wasn't dead."

"In a way I think you did die." Marissa commented.

"How's that?" Hao asked.

"The person you were before the X-Laws had you never made it out of that cell alive." Marissa said. "Just as the person I was before I was captured and experimented on never made it out of that lab alive either."

"I think I see what you're saying." Hao said. "Hao Asakura, the soon to be Shaman King is gone."

"Precisely." Marissa replied. She stamped out her cigarette with her shoe and sighed. "Let's go see if there's anything left to eat in the cafeteria, I don't think I'm getting back to sleep tonight."

"Okay." Hao agreed, following Marissa back to the elevator.

%&%&%&%

It was the little things that frustrated Hao, like having to learn how to eat with his left hand, and how to cut his food with only one hand. The roll he was trying to cut popped away from him for the third time and he growled out a curse, grabbing it back again. He frowned at it, tapping his knife against the table.

"Aha!" Imelda declared. He looked up to see that she had one hand behind her back and was holding up a cut in half roll in her other hand. "Weigh it down with your fork so that it doesn't go shooting all over the place." She advised.

Hao did as she said and was able to actually cut his roll in half and butter it. "See, now aren't you glad we're crazy and try do things one-handedly too?" Simon teased.

"If that's what you consider being crazy then I have some bad news for you." Hao replied. They laughed, Simon slapping him gently on the back.

"You've got a sense of humour in there after all." He said.

"I think you're all just infecting me." Hao replied. That only made them laugh harder. "I didn't think it was that funny." He said to Marissa.

"Simple creatures are amused by simple things." Marissa replied.

"Aww, come on mom." Simon pouted. Marissa smiled and shook her head at him. "I know something that will make you laugh. Hey Charlie, do your Spock bit!"

Charlie perked up and prompted turned into Spock from Star Trek. Ze opened zer mouth and began reciting the song Somewhere Over the Rainbow, with as much inflection as Mr. Spock would have. The team was soon howling with laughter, and even Marissa was covering her mouth in a poor attempt to hide her chuckles.

The first laugh that bubbled up out of Hao's throat startled him. Soon he was laughing as hard as the rest of them, though his friends had stopped and were looking at him with delighted expressions on their faces. It was equally surprising to all of them when his laughs turned to sobs and Hao found tears pouring down his face.

He put his head down, trying to hide his face. He couldn't stop crying for some reason and he could feel someone rubbing his back gently, trying to soothe him. Finally, exhausted by the outpouring of emotion he lifted his head.

A little pack of tissues was dropped on the table in front of him and he looked up to meet the eyes of one of the agents that were frequently in Mission Control. The agent smiled at Hao kindly and walked away. The simple act of kindness nearly had Hao in tears again.

"I'm sorry." He said to the others. "I don't know what came over me."

"Emotional overload, it happens." Kaede said with a shrug. "One minute everything's good, the next you're crying your eyes out for no reason. It sucks."

"It does." Hao agreed, wiping at his face.

"Do you want to go have a lie-down?" Marissa asked.

"Yes, I think that's for the best." Hao agreed. He felt drained, but also cleansed, as though the tears had washed away some of the ugliness inside him. He stood shakily and headed back to his room, Charlie in corgi form trotting at his heels.


	7. Chapter 7

Star: I own nothing!

The team was working on hand-to-hand combat, in case they lost their special abilities during a battle. Hao was watching them, wondering when he would be able to start working like them, when he noticed Imelda stiffen and stare at the door. Hao turned and stared as well.

The most intimidating man he'd ever seen was watching Hao. He had the darkest skin Hao had seen on anyone, and an eyepatch covering his left eye, with scarring showing around it. He was bald, with a short, well-maintained beard. His tallness was emphasized by the black trench coat he wore, making him look like something out of a Matrix movie.

"Director Fury, we weren't expecting you today." Marissa said politely. Hao's anxiety levels went up a notch; this was the famed Director of SHIELD, and he was gazing straight at Hao. Hao didn't think that was a good thing at all, and if Charlie coming over to sit in his lap was any indication, the kids didn't think so either.

"Relax, I'm not here to shoot him." Director Fury said calmly. "I don't need a superhero team gunning for me. Once was enough."

"With all due respect sir, the last time was your fault." Hiba said.

"So Coulson keeps telling me." Director said with a thin smile. "I need to speak with your new companion."

"We're coming too!" Simon hollered.

"Of course you are." Director Fury said with a wry smile. "Easier than having you all try to spy on us."

"Do we require somewhere private for this conversation, sir?" Marissa asked.

"A more comfortable environment would be better." Director Fury replied. "A conference room will do."

"Yes, sir." Marissa said. "Come along, children, and that includes you, Hao."

Hao fell in step with Simon and Kaede flanking him. "Should I be concerned?" Hao asked them.

"Naw, see if Director Fury wanted you dead, he'd probably just send an assassin after you, make it look like you died of an accident or natural causes." Simon said.

"That's not very comforting." Hao commented.

"We don't do comfort very well." Kaede said. "But he's right. Director Fury wouldn't want your death to be traced back to him, he knows we'd do our best to kill him if he did."

"I can still hear you." Director Fury commented, leading the way into a conference room.

"Shit." Simon said with an unrepentant grin.

"You're all lucky I like your supervisor so much." Director Fury added, sitting down at the head of the conference table. While he knew that Fury wasn't going to try anything with him, Hao took the seat farthest away from the imposing man. He also was making sure he knew where he could escape, if he needed to.

"You'd make a good spy." Fury said, startling him. "Making sure you're away from the uncertain element in the room and making sure you know where your exits are, very good work."

"What's this all about, sir?" Hao asked, deciding to get straight to the point. The less time he had to spend in here, the better.

"The X-Laws." Fury said. Hao couldn't repress his shudder. "We don't think that they're going to stay under the radar for too much longer. We need to know everything we can about them, and you're our best informant."

"I hope you don't want me to talk about what they did to me-" Hao's angry growl was cut off by Fury putting up a hand.

"That's not the information I need, or want." He said. "What I need to know is if they would be trying to do something like take over the world, and who would be first in line to get killed by them."

"They definitely want to set up a world where the Iron Maiden is in charge." Hao said. "And they destroy anyone who would stand in their way. Without the Great Spirit though I'm not sure if they have the power level to succeed against the rest of the shamans if they fought."

"Our best sources say that they added your power that they stole from you to their own." Fury said. "Would that make a difference?"

"A big one, yes." Hao said. "They've been quiet so far though." He pointed out.

"Transferring someone else's magic to your own is a tricky business." Hiba said. "It's like trying to do an organ transplant, but far more dangerous, especially if it is a lot of power. It is possible that they have not transferred your power to theirs yet because they do not have the proper means to."

"They also might be waiting to see if you show up again." Fury said. "With Miss Fukui making it look like the Spirit of Fire was in the forest the day you were liberated, they might be wondering if you're recovering somewhere, just biding your time. Which gives us time to figure out who's in the most danger. Which is something you might know."

"They'd want to get rid of anyone who they know would stand against them, as well as anyone they considered 'tainted' by me." Hao answered. "So that would mean anyone who followed me, the Asakura family, Yoh's companions, and probably the Patch at the very least."

"I'm going to need a list of names." Fury said. He pushed a piece of paper and a pen towards Hao.

"My writing isn't that great yet, I was right-handed." Hao said, indicating his empty shoulder socket.

"A chicken could write better than Tony Stark and I manage to read his writing just fine." Director Fury replied drily. "I think I can manage with you."

"Alright." Hao said. He began to write down every name he could think of that would be in trouble if the X-Laws went looking for them.

"What can you tell me about their fighting techniques?" Director Fury asked.

"They want people to buy into their little cult, Marco pretty much hails Jeanne as a goddess." Hao said. "They'll start off telling people they're fighting to repent, and if they don't, trap them in torture devices and try to force them to agree to their version of justice. If that doesn't work, they just kill them."

"Ick, cults." Kaede said. "They're the worst to deal with."

"At least you didn't almost get sacrificed." Imelda replied.

"Jeanne can perform healings, that's one of the benefits of being high powered." Hao said. "If I had to take a guess, they'll gather an army of loyal worshippers around themselves first, Jeanne performing 'miracles' to make them into mindless sheep that will follow her to the end of the earth, and then start attacking governments. Take over somewhere big first, to show off how much power they have."

"Somewhere like the USA?" Director Fury asked.

"That would be a big target, neutralize a lot of resistance." Hao agreed. "They'll go after the people they find threatening first though." He pushed the finished list to Fury, who looked at it.

"We'll get surveillance on these people." He said. "We won't warn them yet, since that will clue in the X-Laws that someone's onto them, and then they might get cautious, we don't want that."

"Doesn't that run the risk of someone getting hurt?" Hao asked.

"It does, but it's the only viable option we have right now." Director Fury said. "Most of the names on your list are in our databases, and they should be able to handle themselves long enough for a SHIELD team to get them out."

"And those that can't?" Hao asked.

"The X-Laws may be watching them already, if they disappear randomly they'll get suspicious." Director Fury said. "We want to try to hit them before they become wise to us, if that's at all possible."

"There's a lot of people dead because of me, I don't want to add more to that number." Hao said after a moment's deliberation. Guilt was still fairly new to him, but sometimes the intensity of it left him gasping for breath.

"Let me give you a piece of advice." Director Fury said. "Feel guilty for the people that you have killed directly, that's it. If someone else murders someone, that's their choice, end of story. You don't want to carry that weight on your shoulders, I've seen it break people."

"Personal experience?" Hao asked.

"Something a mentor told me, though shi wasn't very good about taking hir own advice." Fury answered. Before Hao could question the strange pronouns, Fury got a call and nodded to all of them, striding out of the room with Hao's list in his hand. Hao let out a breath he didn't know he was holding when Fury was gone.

"Terrifying." Simon said with a grin. "That's why he's the boss though, you know?"

"What was with the odd pronouns in the end?" Hao asked. "I mean I know about Charlie's pronouns, but those were different."

"Shi and hir are the pronouns Jotun use, at least if they are dual-sexed, as we are supposed to be." Viggo said. "The mentor Director Fury spoke of is half Jotun."

"Really?" Hao asked, surprised.

"You'll meet hir eventually, trust me, you can't miss hir." Kaede said.

%&%&%&%

Hao was dealing with an uncomfortable thought, one that stuck in him like pins. "I would have killed you." He blurted out to Mati as soon as he got into her office. Mati merely blinked at him and gestured for him to sit down, getting out her pen and notepad.

"That's a hell of a statement to open up with." She commented.

"Sorry, it's something that's been bugging me for a little while." Hao said.

"Can you go more in-depth about it?" Mati asked.

"There's all these people here, you, Doctor Doshi, Agent Farmer in Mission Control and even my friends…" Hao swallowed thickly. "You're all so kind to me, and willing to help me, and if I'd had my way, I would have killed you all without a second thought, because I thought there was nothing worth saving about the human race."

"And you don't believe that anymore?" Mati asked.

"All of you help me, despite knowing what I've done and what I meant to do." Hao said, lowering his head. "My life was saved, instead of destroyed. I don't deserve this kindness."

"Why not?" Mati asked.

"I've killed people, innocent people are dead because of me." Hao said. "The world's better off without me."

"It seemed your new friends didn't agree." Mati replied. "Has anyone told you yet how the Black Widow came to be working for SHIELD?"

"No." Hao shook his head. "Why?"

"Because I suppose you could see some similarities in both your stories before coming to SHIELD." Mati said. "Agent Romanoff was an assassin, didn't care who she killed, just followed orders. SHIELD was actually going to have her taken out, but Agent Barton decided he saw something worth saving in her, and brought her in instead. Gave her a chance to do some good."

"And she has?" Hao asked.

"She is one of the Avengers." Mati replied. "That team of yours, and Marissa, saw something worth saving in you. Why do you think Marissa petitioned to become your direct supervisor? She would have had to straight to Fury with that proposal."

"They believe I am worth it?" Hao asked, feeling warm inside.

"Uh huh." Mati said. "Now, the question is, do you want to earn that belief?"

"I do." Hao said. The conviction in that statement surprised even him, but he was slowly picking up the pieces of himself, finding himself again, and a big part of the person he was now was that group of crazy 20-something year olds, and he wanted to make them feel like he'd been worth saving.


	8. Chapter 8

Star: I own nothing!

Hao was running laps outside, wondering if his decision to try and become a field operative working with Omega team had been a mistake. He couldn't think of any time when he had been this sweaty and short of breath in any of his lives. What was worse was Imelda running ahead of him, looking like she was just out for a leisurely stroll, and Charlie bouncing along at his heels, looking pleased as punch to be out running just before the sun was up.

He finished the lap and flopped down in the dust, wheezing for breath. "You're not going to have a heart attack on me, are you?" Imelda asked, giving him a concerned look.

"No, heart's fine." Hao gasped out. His heart was running a mile a minute, feeling like it was going to pound right out of his chest, but it was fine. Charlie plopped zerself in his lap, grinning zer doggy grin at him. "I have not been this out of shape in centuries."

"Hey, on a good day I do ten laps, you only did two." Imelda shrugged.

"Ugh." Hao groaned. "Remind me why I thought this was a good idea?"

"Because you want to come with us when we're saving people." Imelda said. "And you gotta build up your strength and stamina before Marissa will even think about doing combat training with you." She started running again.

"God, I must be a masochist." Hao sighed. Charlie snorted at him. He gave zer a smile. "You know what, I still don't know what your story is, how you got involved in all this."

Charlie hopped off him and zer body shifted. A young completely androgenous human sat down beside him. Ze had short curly red hair and bright green eyes. Ze was plump and short, totally androgenous, with freckley, chubby cheeks.

"It's not that interesting, to be honest." Ze told him. "My folks were okay with me being a mutant, but when they found out I'd been experimenting with my gender they got mad. They said that I was just going through a rebellious phase, that there was no such thing as being agender, and that I needed to change back into a girl like I was supposed to be."

"What did you do?" Hao asked.

"I stayed with a female body for a while, thinking that I could talk them around, but they wouldn't listen, and it just became too hard to be something I wasn't." Charlie answered. "So I stopped. There were lots of arguments, and home started to feel like a cage, so I finally ran away. Went back a couple times to see if they would change their minds, but nothing ever came of it."

"You'd think that parents would want their kids to be happy." Hao commented.

"You'd think, but apparently me being the sweet little girl they'd raised me to be was more important than my emotional wellbeing." Charlie sighed. "What about you then?"

"What about me?" Hao asked.

"Well, you know all our stories now, what's yours? How did you get to be the way you were?" Charlie asked curiously.

"I…" Hao didn't know what to do. He had never really told anyone about himself, except for Matamune, and Matamune had abandoned him too. "I'm not sure-"

"If you're not ready to tell us, you don't have to." Charlie said quickly. "If it makes you uncomfortable, don't talk about it. Just, we're here for you, okay?"

"I know." Hao said. Charlie smiled at him. "Is this what you looked like before?"

"It's the closest I ever get." Charlie answered. 'I'm glad you didn't ask if this was the real me."

"The real you is whatever you choose to be." Hao said. "Even if that often happens to be a corgi."

Charlie grinned and turned back into a corgi, licking Hao's face and making him laugh.

%&%&%&%

"I want to talk to all of you about something." Hao said, cutting across the argument between Simon and Kaede about who was going to play as Link in Super Smash Bros. They stopped and looked at him for a second before sitting down in front of him. The rest of them sat down around Hao, surrounding him. He felt safe within the circle, seeing Marissa sit down in a nearby armchair as well, watching him closely.

"What's the deal, Skywalker?" Simon asked. Hao bit his lip, looking down. Charlie hopped into his lap and settled down, licking his hand.

"You've all told me where you came from, and how you got here, and I figured it was time I did the same." Hao said. "Just, bear with me, I haven't talked about this much."

"Take all the time you need." Marissa said gently.

"The only parent I knew was my mother." Hao began. "Whether my father died, didn't know that my mother was pregnant, or if she was violated is something I've never known, but she was all I had. I was four when she was killed."

"Why did someone kill her?" Hiba asked.

"She was like me, could see and communicate with spirits." Hao explained. "It made her unpopular with the locals, they thought she was a demon, or an evil spirit, and that year there was a drought, so tensions were high. They burned down the house with her still inside it. I had been collecting berries in the woods for her and wasn't in time to save her."

"You were a baby." Imelda said softly. "What could you have done?"

"I know." Hao said. "It didn't stop the guilt, or the anger. I wound up eventually killing the one who had killed her, but that did nothing for my anger." Hao said. "I was attracting demons to myself, and so I decided to try and force down the anger, help people. I was famous throughout the land, but the anger was inside me still, seeing all the fear and cruelty of man, and one day, I just snapped. My friend, Matamune, the only one I'd ever told about my past, the one I trusted to understand me, fled from me after that, and helped bring about my death, in my first life, and my second."

"That sucks." Simon said. "No wonder you got trust issues."

"What changed?" Marissa asked.

"When I was captured, I had a lot of time to myself, a lot of time to think." Hao said. "The anger that I lived with for so long went away, too exhausting to keep it up. Then I got here, and the people that I hated for long took care of me, treated me with kindness, and it just seemed petty to blame the actions of a few on everyone."

"You're not the first, nor will you be the last to find it easier to blame an entire race for the actions of one or a few." Marissa said.

"For a time I was afraid of all men, even though it was one man who hurt me." Hiba said. "It is hard to tell yourself that it is not logical to hate all men, when all you've ever known is pain from them."

"It doesn't make what I've done okay." Hao said quietly.

"And it's good that you recognise that." Marissa replied. "And that you are willing to work to make up for the things you've done."

"And we'll be there every step of the way to make sure you don't fall off the wagon." Kaede said. "I know I came close to becoming a supervillain when I was out on the streets, Marissa saved me from that. Now it's our turn to help save you from yourself."

"Thank you, all of you." Hao said, hugging Charlie close.

"Hey, that's what friends are for." Imelda replied with a shrug.

%&%&%&%

"So, guess who's on base right now?" Simon said, bouncing up and down on the couch where Hao was sitting and attempting to read.

"Who, the Easter Bunny?" Hao asked.

"Nope, good guess, but nope." Simon grinned. "It's the Avengers!"

"The Avengers?" Hao asked. "What are they doing here?"

"Apparently they were dealing with something nearby and they wanted to stop by and say hello." Simon grabbed Hao's arm and dragged him to his feet. "Come on, let's go!"

"Ugh, Simon, not so fast." Hao complained.

"I know you've been running in the morning with Imelda, come on, you can keep up with me." Simon replied. "It's the Avengers, they're awesome."

"I've met one already." Hao reminded him.

"Yeah, and Hawkeye was awesome, wasn't he?" Simon said.

"He just seemed like a normal guy." Hao replied.

"That's the best part." Simon replied. "They're heroes, but they're, like, normal."

Hao rolled his eyes, but kept in step with Simon. The Avengers were sitting in one of the other lounges that weren't considered Omega Team territories. Clint Barton waved when he saw him come in. The small woman with curly red hair sitting beside him shifted to look at him with assessing green eyes. Two very big blonde men, one with short cropped hair, the other with a ponytail, were chatting amiably with Imelda. A smaller, stocky man with curly dark hair and glasses was talking quietly with Kaede in a corner. The final man, a short, wiry man with short dark hair and a goatee was tinkering with something.

"Presenting the Avengers!" Simon said loudly. "Avengers, this is Hao, we're going to make him into a superhero."

"Thanks a lot." Hao muttered, when every head in the room turned to look at him curiously. The woman, who Hao assumed was Agent Romanoff, commented in Russian that Hao looked like he could use a few good meals before he blew away in the wind.

"**I think the lack of a right arm would make me roll like a tumbleweed." **Hao replied in Russian. Agent Romanoff blinked and then smirked slowly.

"I like this one." She declared to Agent Barton.

"Scary thought." The goateed man said. "Tony Stark aka Iron Man, have you heard of me?"

"Only what my friends have told me." Hao replied.

"I can imagine what kind of stories they tell." Stark replied, moving quickly and staring at his arm. "Ever thought about prosthetics? I bet I could come up with something really awesome, with Brucey's help, he's the biologist after all."

"Gamma radiation, Tony, not nervous systems." The curly haired man, evidently Bruce, sighed. "Bruce Banner, I turn into the Hulk."

"What's that like?" Hao asked.

"Interesting." Bruce replied simply.

"The male models over there are Steve and Thor, pretty self-explanatory." Tony said. "Seriously though, prosthetics."

"Right now I would like to keep it as is." Hao said. "It's sort of a reminder to myself."

"Okay, okay, I can understand that." Stark tapped his fingers on his chest, making a sound like he was drumming on metal. "If you change your mind I'll make the most kick-ass prosthetic for you."

"Okay." Hao said. He felt bemused and awkward. He wasn't really sure he belonged here, knowing what he'd done. Steve seemed to notice his expression and came over, looking concerned.

"What's wrong, son?" He asked. Hao thought about mentioning that he was much older than him, but decided it was a petty thing to do.

"I just don't know if I belong here." He admitted. "I haven't done many good things in my life. I just don't know if a person like me can be a hero."

"Do you want to do some good in this world?" Steve asked him.

"Yes, I'd like to try." Hao said.

"Then you can be a hero." Steve replied.

"Hey, you know they used to call me the Merchant of Death?" Tony said. "Wasn't just because they liked the sound of it. I've got plenty of innocent blood on my hands. Why do you think I became a hero in the first place?"

"I've got as much blood on my hands as Tony, maybe more." Natasha added. "I joined SHIELD to do some good in this world."

"I really don't know how many deaths Hulk has caused." Bruce said gently. "If you want to make a change then go for it, don't let your past hold you down."

"Does it get better?" Hao asked. "The feeling that you shouldn't get to be happy?"

"Eventually." Bruce said. "One day at a time. Sometimes you'll slip after it's been good for a bit, but that's normal."

"Yeah, Brucie's an expert on self-loathing." Tony said, slinging an arm around Bruce's shoulders. His grin was far too wide, and Hao could tell that he understood a thing or two about self-hate. "Just don't get to drinking, or drugs, or whatever, the fallout and rehab are not worth it."

"I doubt any of my friends would allow it." Hao commented.

"Yeah, they're some interesting kids." Tony commented. "Don't want to get on their bad side. Heard an agent that tried getting in Marissa's face found all his electronic equipment fried and his weapons half melted."

"They are vindictive little bastards and I love it." Clint commented gleefully. He was discussing something with Simon, who looked far too pleased with himself. "Also, if you want to know how to get around the vents, let me know, I can show you."

"Why would I want to do that?" Hao asked.

"Because it's fun to freak people out." Clint answered with a shrug. Natasha was shaking her head at him, a fond smile on her face.

"I'm coming to the conclusion that a prerequisite for being a superhero is a certain level of insanity." Hao said.

Tony let out a bark of laughter and clapped a hand on Hao's shoulder. "Well, you certainly got that right."


	9. Chapter 9

Star: I own nothing

Hao woke up screaming from a nightmare in which every person he killed turned into his mother as he killed them. He felt a hand on his back and shied away from the touch. "Don't, I'm a monster, don't touch me." He gasped out, sobbing uncontrollably.

After a moment massive, cool hands scooped him up off his bed and he found himself cradled against Viggo's broad chest. Overwhelmed, Hao went limp, shaking with the force of his sobs. He felt tiny in Viggo's arms, but it only made him feel safe and protected.

When his sobs were exhausted he just lay quietly in Viggo's arms, feeling completely drained. "You are not a monster." Viggo said in a quiet voice. "You have done bad, yes, but you are going to rise above, and become a hero, like we are heroes."

"We're not abandoning you, no matter how many times you tell us you're not worth it, we're still coming back for you, every single time." Simon said fiercely. "You start slipping, we're gonna be there to help keep you up. You're family now, you can't get rid of us."

Hao sighed and closed his eyes wearily. "I just think it might be better if I was dead." He said. "No one else would get hurt because of me that way."

"Don't do that, we love you." Viggo protested, holding him closer. Hao opened his eyes and looked up at Viggo in surprise. "We love you." Viggo repeated. "No dying."

"You'd hurt us if you killed yourself, you do know that right?" Simon asked. "I mean, come on, you're pretty much my best friend at this point, and you know if something happened to you Charlie would cry. Death's a pretty permanent thing you know."

"It didn't used to be, not for me." Hao replied. "The X-Laws, they'll come after you because of me, I don't want to see you hurt."

"Hey, we been at this superhero game for years." Simon replied. "We know how to take care of ourselves against crazy supervillains. The X-Laws are no different. We got plans for them, don't worry."

"I don't want to lose my family again." Hao said softly. "I don't think I could bear it."

"You won't, don't worry." Viggo said. "We are good at staying alive." He shifted and stuck out his pinky for Hao. "We pinkie swear we will not die." Hao managed a faint laugh and crossed pinkies with him. "See, now we have promised, no breaking."

"If only it were that simple." Hao replied.

"If you believe it's that simple, then it will be." Simon replied. "Look we can't promise one of us isn't going to go down protecting some innocent, but we're not going to go looking to martyr ourselves, we're going to fight with all we got and take those bastards down with us if we have to go. Does that sound fair?"

"I suppose so." Hao agreed. "Could I… could we just stay like this?" He asked, feeling silly.

"Yes." Viggo said, hugging him tighter. Hao couldn't help the wave of shame that came over him for wanting to be held like a child, but he didn't care. He felt safe like this, knowing that Viggo was there and was going to look out for him.

%&%&%&%

Hao finished telling Mari how he was feeling lately, the feelings of self-loathing and thoughts of suicide, and fidgeted in his seat. Even after months of seeing her, he couldn't shake the fear that one day she would laugh at him for his weakness. He kept his head down, fussing with his bangs so he didn't have to look her in the eyes.

"What you are feeling is normal." Mati finally informed him. Hao let out his breath in a sigh of relief. "That's the other thing isn't it? You feel as though you will be ridiculed for having these feelings."

"I can't help myself." Hao admitted. "I've been calling such emotions weakness for such a long time, I'd begun to believe that it is true. I'm working on that."

"That's good." Mati nodded her head. "You recognise that certain ways you think are unhealthy, and you are working to change those ways of thinking. Not everyone can do that."

"What can I do to stop feeling like I should just die?" Hao asked. "I don't want to hurt my friends."

"You're already doing a lot of what you should be. You have a very good support network, and by that I mean your friends, a supervisor who's going to keep a good eye on you and report any worrying behavior immediately, and you are speaking to me about these things." Mati said. "Unfortunately these sorts of things take time to heal, and that's often why people don't see a way out, because the time to heal is too long, and they feel too isolated for it to be worth it. I don't see that being a problem for you."

"Why not?" Hao asked.

"Because you told me that you don't want to hurt your friends." Mati said. "So while you think about death, you also scrap that idea almost immediately. I can prescribe you an anti-depressant though. It's not going to make all the feelings go away, but it should help you be able to work around them."

"That would be nice." Hao said. "I already take a lot of pills, what's one more?"

"Here's the thing, if you start to feel better, don't stop using it. I know people think they're getting better and stop taking their pills and just slip back, sometimes even further than they were before." Mati cautioned.

"I understand." Hao said.

"I will have to talk to your doctor first, so he can help me choose a medication that won't interfere with your others, but I should have a prescription for you within the next day." Mati added.

"Thank you." Hao said, smiling a bit. "It still surprises me that people are so willing to help me."

"You've had a hard life, a life that has taught you that you must look out for yourself." Mati replied. "I'd be very surprised if you were able to get over that this quickly."

"I know." Hao replied. "it just catches me at odd moments, that I don't have to appear strong all the time, that I can be vulnerable, and no one is going to laugh at me or think me weak because of it. I was crying while cradled in Viggo's arms the other night, and the only thing it made me feel was safe, after I got over being ashamed of myself anyways."

"A hug from a guy as big as Viggo would make anyone feel protected." Mati smiled. "Do you ever feel like they're smothering you?"

"Sometimes, a little bit." Hao admitted. "But I don't find I mind too much, knowing why they are so close and why they cling to each other and me so tightly. If it bothered me I'd say something to them."

"That's good." Mati said. "You don't want to be doing anything, or have anyone doing anything to you that makes you uncomfortable."

"Okay." Hao said. "I guess that makes sense. I want to make my friends, I want to make Marissa proud of me, but if I push myself too far, or do something I'm not ready for, I could hurt myself."

"Exactly. And that's not something I know Marissa is going to want." Mati said. "She pushes sometimes and you have to know when to push back."

"Right." Hao agreed. "I haven't been this completely relaxed around anyone for the longest time."

"Well, hopefully we can keep it that way." Mati said, smiling. "You are becoming quite the popular figure around here."

"Why is that?" Hao asked.

"Everybody likes an underdog, especially one that's working to make themselves better." Mati said. "It helps that you're polite and willing to accept the help that people give you. Doctor Doshi wishes all his patients were as cooperative as you."

"He said something like that to me." Hao admitted. "I just didn't think this many people would want anything to do with me, I mean, you have information on me here, in case you needed to take me out."

"You're with SHIELD now." Mati shrugged. "We take care of our own. That's it, that's all."

%&%&%&%

Hao wasn't exactly sure how he'd been sucked into video games, but he was well and truly addicted. So, when he heard about the Super Smash Bros tournament that the base was holding, of course he went straight to his family and informed them about it.

"Oh yeah, we always enter." Simon said. "It'll be fun to see the looks on the other agents' faces when they have to come up against you and me."

They had come up with a way for Hao to play video games. Since he only had one hand he would hold one end of the controller, and Simon would hold the other, and they would each only press the buttons that were on their side of the controller. It had taken a while, and a lot of laughter, to be able to work in sync, but Hao and Simon were now able to easily beat the others in most of the video games they played.

"What's the prize this year?" Imelda asked, looking at the poster.

"Ooh, big box of donuts from that really good place, and Purdy's chocolates!" Hiba said, bouncing happily, the ends of her bright yellow hijab bouncing with her.

"It's usually food of some kind." Kaede told Hao. "Keeps everyone happy. Second prize is a gift card for Starbucks, and third is a Dairy Queen ice cream cake. Pretty good prizes."

"Me and Skywalker here got first prize in the bag, don't we?" Simon said, slinging an arm around Hao's shoulders.

"We'll certainly give them a run for their money." Hao agreed.

"Think we'll have any of the other superheroes in this year?" Imelda asked. "Last year some of the X-Men showed up for the tourney."

"The X-Men are mutants, right?" Hao asked. He received nods in reply. "How come none of you joined up with them?"

"Marissa got to us first." Imelda shrugged.

"Professor Xavier's got that thing that he can find mutants with, but he's not using it all the time." Simon added.

"And besides that Xavier would not have tried to bring you in, not without trying to earn your trust first. He would have seen that most of you were doing fine on your own and didn't want help, so would have left you to your own devices." Marissa added, striding up. "Ah, the tournament's back I see."

"Yup, me and Hao are going to take it all." Simon said.

%&%&%&%

The tournament was a lot of fun. The X-Men didn't show up, but Tony, Clint, Bruce, a young woman named Darcy Lewis and a young man named Peter Parker did. Clint nearly laughed himself silly when he saw how Hao and Simon were playing. He wasn't laughing so hard when Hao and Simon beat him, putting him out of the tournament in the first round.

"So who are the two that are with the Avengers?" Hao asked. "I mean I know their names, but why did they come with Tony and them?"

"Well, Darcy is Jane Foster's assistant. Jane Foster is an astrophysicist, and she's also dating Thor, so the two of them now live in the Avengers Tower." Imelda explained.

"What about Peter?" Hao asked. Imelda looked around and gestured for him to come close.

"Technically I'm not supposed to tell you this, and we only found out by accident, but Peter Parker is Spider-man." She whispered. "Officially he's working as an intern at Stark Industries, but unofficially he's getting some help from the Avengers on how to balance his life, having an alter-ego."

"So he's not out to the public?" Hao asked.

"Naw, he's got people to protect." Imelda said. "He doesn't want the attention. Lot of people still consider him something of a menace."

"Doesn't he do good though?" Hao asked.

"Yeah, but the press has painted him as a menace and people can be sheep." Imelda shrugged. "Looks like we're ready for the next round."

Hao and Simon did wind up winning first prize, much to Tony's very loud disbelief. Tony earned himself the second place spot, and immediately gave the gift card away to Darcy, saying he preferred a better class of coffee. The third prize went to one of the security team on the base, a big woman by the name of Sally.

"See, didn't I tell you we'd win." Simon whooped, grabbing Hao in a big bear hug. Hao laughed at his antics. It couldn't get much better than this, in his mind.


	10. Chapter 10

Star: I own nothing!

Yoh Asakura was having trouble believing what was happening to him. It was only a day ago that he'd been with his friends in Tokyo, celebrating his birthday and having a good time. Then, they'd been attacked by the X-Laws, but the X-Laws were being attacked by someone else as well, and in the confusion, people in dark uniforms had helped Yoh and his friends escape.

The people that rescued them were from SHIELD, and now they were all in America, in a secret base in the middle of the desert. They were joined by a small group of Hao's former cronies, who had also been attacked. Agent Sitwell was taking them around, explaining where things were and what sort of things were off limits, but Yoh was hardly listening. He was concerned that the X-Laws were going to go after his family in Izumo, but he didn't know who to ask about them.

Lyserg was casting Hao's cronies ugly looks, and Yoh thought it was probably a good thing all their weapons and devices they used to fight in shaman fights had been confiscated from them. Hao's followers looked a little worse for the wear, and worn down, watching Yoh and his friends warily. Luchist in particular looked pretty haggard, sporting a black eye and a cut down one cheek.

They were led outside to the air field, and Yoh gasped as a blast of blistering hot air smacked his face. The air field was mostly empty, it being the middle of the day and blazing hot. There was a lonely figure pacing in circles nearby though, looking up at the sky every so often. Yoh looked away, and then back at the person, frowning slightly. Something about them was pulling at him.

The person didn't look like much, small, and made to look even smaller by the oversized black sweatshirt they were wearing. Yoh wondered if they were boiling in that thing. A pair of jeans and combat boots completed their ensemble. They had long brown hair, looking about the same shade as Yoh's, which cascaded down to between his shoulder blades in straight lines. Even only seeing the person's profile Yoh could see at least two scars on their face.

The figure then turned and Yoh found himself meeting dark eyes identical to his own in a face that he instantly recognised, despite the scarring across it. Those dark eyes widened as Hao recognised him in turn and the two twins stared at each other like deer in headlights. Yoh took a step, struggling to find something to say and Hao stiffened up, his eyes filled with terror.

"Hao-sama!" Luchist suddenly called. The call seemed to unfreeze Hao and he bolted, running for the inside of the base as the sound of an aircraft broke the silence of the desert.

"Wait." Agent Sitwell said sternly. "You can't just go running off." Luchist glared at him.

"But that's-"

"I'm well aware of who he is." Agent Sitwell replied. "But I cannot have you running around the base willy-nilly."

The aircraft, an odd-looking contraption with four spinning rotors, landed nearby, and a group of people spilled out, talking loudly. The talking stopped as they looked around, seemingly confused. A little corgi began sniffing around the spot where Hao had been standing and trotted in circles around the others, whining softly.

Another person came out of the aircraft, looked at the others, and walked over to Agent Sitwell. She was a small woman, with dark skin and shaven head. She had a pair of swords in sheaths strapped to her back. The other people, including a big blue man who looked like he'd been carved from ice, waited, looking like a pack of wolves ready for the signal to attack.

"What happened?" The woman asked, a soft southern twang in her voice.

"He got spooked, ran off inside." Agent Sitwell replied.

"Charlie." The woman called. The corgi stopped whining and looked up at her, ears cocked attentively. "Find him, stay with him." The corgi gave one bark and galloped off in the same direction as Hao had gone. "Why wasn't I informed of this?" The woman asked coolly, indicating Yoh and his companions.

"I was not made aware of any conflicts, I'm sorry Marissa." Agent Sitwell replied. Marissa's pale grey eyes seemed to ice over.

"Our boss is being manipulative again." She said, her voice deadly. "I think I'm going to have to have a discussion with him."

"Heads are gonna roll." One of the others, a tall girl with a flame red Mohawk commented.

"Alright, kids, debrief in half an hour, go wash the smell of bug off." Marissa ordered. The five youths grumbled but trooped inside. "As for the rest of you, I'd advise staying away from Hao for now, my kids are going to be extra protective of him for the moment."

"Why is he here?" Lyserg demanded. "Do you know what he's done?"

"I am well aware of what he's done." Marissa replied coldly. "Why he's here is none of your concern. Excuse me." She nodded to Agent Sitwell and headed inside. Yoh let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding; suddenly things had gotten a lot more complicated.

%&%&%&%

Charlie ran through the base, tracking the scent of fear and despair, hating that someone ze loved was hurting like this. People that saw zer coming sometimes pointed in a direction, but ze didn't much need their help. If only Hao knew how much they were trying to help though, maybe he wouldn't feel so lost.

Ze finally found Hao in one of the storage rooms. Ze traced the sound of his sobs to behind a large pallet. He was sitting on the ground, knees up to his chest and his arm curled around his knees, face hidden as his body shook with sobs.

Charlie shoved zer face into Hao's stomach, whining softly. Hao's body loosened enough for zer to climb into his lap and for him to wrap his arm around her. He buried his face in zer fur and continued to sob. Charlie just sat there, offering silent comfort for as long as he needed it.

%&%&%&%

Yoh wandered the halls of the base. They'd been showed to their quarters, and almost immediately Lyserg, Horohoro and Ren got into an argument about Hao. Not feeling like dealing with them, Yoh had slipped out of the room and was currently trying to clear his head. Unfortunately, his thoughts kept returning to Hao, and the look of terror on his face when he'd been looking at Yoh.

"I understand, Director, but your lack of information could have cost him his life!" Yoh recognised the voice as being Marissa's and found himself staring into a conference room. Marissa was standing with her back to him, staring at a video screen where the most intimidating looking black man with an eyepatch was looking out of.

"They had been relieved of weapons before they came to the base." The man replied. "If he's going to be an agent he's going to have to be able to cope with unpleasant surprises. Sink or swim, as it were."

"Yes, Director, I understand that, but this is throwing someone who's just learning to swim into the middle of an ocean." Marissa snapped. "There are people here now that he's hurt very badly, and he's already dealing with guilt and suicidal thoughts."

Yoh gasped loudly at that. Marissa turned and gave him an unconcerned look, and then turned back to the video screen. "Whatever your reasoning for this was, you were wrong." She said. "I'd watch your back when you're on base for the next little while."

"Noted." The Director said. The screen went black. Marissa turned to Yoh and folded her arms across her chest. Despite her diminutive size, Yoh found her quite intimidating.

"I'm sorry, I should not have eavesdropped." Yoh said. Her eyes softened a bit and she sighed heavily.

"No, if I was going to have a private conversation, I should have closed the door." She replied. "What can I do for you?"

"I don't think you can give me what I ask for." Yoh replied.

"We'll see." Marissa replied shortly.

"I'd like to talk to Hao." Yoh said. Marissa stared at him, pale eyes assessing, calculating, as she stared into him.

"I can't arrange a private meeting, I don't think he'll thank me for that." She said finally. "However, he and I will be doing training in the large training room at nine sharp tomorrow morning. If you are around, he might be willing to speak with you, not alone though."

"I guess that's the best I can ask for." Yoh said. "What happened to him?"

"That's not my story to tell, I'm afraid." Marissa replied.


	11. Chapter 11

Star: I own nothing!

Hao didn't know how long he cried into Charlie's fur, but by the time he was all cried out he was light-headed and tired. He lifted his head, sniffing softly. Charlie licked his chin comfortingly and Hao managed a watery smile for zer. As much as he wanted to go sleep off his nervous breakdown, there was someone he needed to see first.

"Can you try and help me avoid those people?" Hao asked Charlie. "I need to go see Mati." Charlie whuffed in agreement and scrambled off his lap. Hao got up and followed after zer. Ze would peek around corners for him and let him know if it was safe. None of the other agents walking the halls commented on his bloodshot eyes, but a few gave him sympathetic looks and someone even ruffled his hair as he went by, but he didn't see who it was.

Finally he got to Mati's office and knocked on the door. "Come in." She called. Hao opened the door a little and peeked inside.

"Do you have time for an emergency session?" Hao asked.

"Of course, come on in." Mati said, smiling. "Marissa warned me that you might be coming for an extra session." She said as Hao sat down. "Why don't you tell me what happened."

Hao started talking, telling Mati about seeing Yoh, his friends and some of his former followers and the sudden stab of terror that had forced him into flight. After that he found he just couldn't stop talking, telling her every awful thing he'd done to the people that were here now, as well as his fears that he would find himself slipping back into his old persona with them all here to remind him of his past.

When he ran out of words he found he'd been crying again, tears dripping down his face. Mati pushed the box of Kleenex she had on her desk closer to him. He took it and used one to wipe at his face. He was still shaking and sniffling though.

"Deep breaths, come on." Mati encouraged. Hao took a couple of deep, shaky breaths and started to feel better. "That was a lot to unload." Mati commented. "Thank you for trusting me with all of that, I know it's probably not something you've been eager to talk about."

"You're not disgusted by me?" Hao asked, his voice plaintive. "Not knowing what I've done?"

"SHIELD has some idea of your methods, remember?" Mati replied with a smile. "And in any case, the young man I know is so completely far removed from the person you were before. You underestimate how much people like you, I think."

Hao ducked his head, feeling a little overwhelmed by her confidence in him. "I'm still afraid, of becoming that again." He said.

"The fact that you are afraid of it tells me you likely will not fall into those patterns again." Mati replied. "You will watch yourself carefully, and you have your friends to watch you as well. Do you really think they will let you fall into darkness?"

"No, they'll drag me back into the light kicking and screaming." Hao said with a fond smile. "I worry that their association with me will cause trouble."

"I doubt they'll see it as trouble, just as an annoyance." Mati replied. "The people brought here are weaponless. The only reason they still have access to their spirit companions is because SHIELD does balk at imprisoning people who haven't done anything wrong, even if they are dead. Don't worry about your friends, they've faced far worse than a pack of angry children."

"I suppose you're right." Hao said.

"Not to mention any agent around will probably join the fight." Mati added. "You're with SHIELD now, we protect our own."

"We protect our own." Hao repeated softly. So this was what it was like, to be a part of something bigger than himself, rather than the aloof messiah-figure. He liked the feeling. "I should go, the others are probably worried sick about me. Thank you, for taking time out to talk to me."

"That's what I'm here for." Mati replied cheerily. Hao walked out of the office and found all of his friends, including Marissa, waiting for him. Charlie wagged zer tail, clearly pleased with zirself.

"You alright?" Imelda asked. "Do we need to beat anyone up?"

That actually got a small laugh out of Hao. "No, no beating people up." He replied. "Try to stay out of trouble."

"Staying out of trouble's no fun." Simon protested.

"I don't want to have to do this, but I'm worried for your safety." Marissa said. "I don't want you wandering around the base without at least one of us with you. Please, don't fight me on this."

"Honestly I'd feel better if someone else was with me." Hao said. "I'm not going to fight you on this, I know you only want to look out for me."

"I keep forgetting you're not as young as you look, and sometimes act." Marissa said with a smile. "Good, we're hoping this period will be as painless as possible."

%&%&%&%

Yoh got up and tried to sneak out of the room. "Where are you going?" Horohoro asked sleepily.

"I was just going to go for a bit of a walk." Yoh replied. "Go back to sleep."

"You shouldn't wander by yourself, Yoh." Lyserg said, hopping off his top bunk and nearly landing on Horohoro as he got up. "Not with Hao and his minions around."

Yoh knew better than to argue, so he, Ren, Horohoro, and Lyserg slipped out of their room. Anna was already up as well, with Ryu and Faust tagging along behind. Manta had been sent to another safe house, since he couldn't help against the X-Laws.

"No weapons, this is ridiculous." Anna growled. "How are you supposed to train?"

"We could just work on combat skills, Anna." Yoh pointed out.

"Let's get outside then." She snapped.

"Anna, not in this heat, we'd collapse in minutes." Yoh said. "I'm pretty sure there's a training room around here somewhere."

"Fine, then we'll go find it." Anna growled, stalking off. The boys sighed and followed after her. Yoh sighed himself, thinking that he wasn't going to get to talk to Hao now, knowing his luck, Hao would just bolt at the sight of all of them again.

He could hear clacking noises as they got close to where he was sure the training room was. He went in first and stopped dead in surprise. Hao had discarded his oversized hoodie from the day before and was wearing a pair of soft sweatpants and a muscle shirt, clearly showing the empty socket where his right arm used to be. His hair was pulled back in a messy bun.

"Dude, he's got no arm!" Horohoro declared in shock.

"Thank you, Captain Obvious." Someone drawled. Yoh looked to see the youths from the other day all sprawled out against the wall, watching Hao and Marissa spar on the mats with wooden staffs. Except they'd stopped sparring, and both of them were watching the interlopers, Marissa with mild annoyance, and Hao with trepidation.

From his vantage point Yoh could see burn scars all up Marissa's left arm and he wondered where she'd gotten them from. Anna, deciding to get right to the point, marched towards the two of them. As she went to step on the training mats Marissa spoke.

"Ah, if you step on the mats, you become part of my training session." She informed Anna.

"Yeah, and you're supposed to take your shoes off, what were you, born in a barn!" One of the youths, the dark-skinned boy with glasses, called out. Anna turned to glare at him, and he responded with a rude gesture.

"We need this training room." Anna told Marissa.

"Well, you're going to have to wait, I'm doing training of my own, as you can see." Marissa replied evenly.

"Now." Anna demanded.

"No." Marissa said flatly. "I am working and I do not like being interrupted. If you want the training room, wait."

"This is ridiculous, we can't even train properly!" Anna screeched. "We want our weapons back."

"Sorry, protocol." Marissa said, shrugging her shoulders. "Not my call to make."

"Make it your call then." Anna snarled.

"Little girl, let me make a few things clear to you." Marissa said, smiling frostily. "The protocols are there for a reason, they keep the people that work here, and the people that live here safe. You don't get a say in them and the faster you realize that the better. A lot of agents will just have you thrown in the brig for carrying on like this, for disturbing the peace."

This only made Anna mad and she stepped onto the mat, her hand twitching. "I'd think very carefully about your next move." Marissa's voice was cold, deadly. "I have a weapon, you don't, and I have no problem dumping an uppity little bitch on her ass. Now, move." The order was given quietly, but with force.

Anna backed away, actually looking nervous, though one look into blazing grey eyes and Yoh could see why. "Do you mind if we stay here and wait, until you're done?" he asked. Marissa looked at Hao, who shrugged his shoulders. Marissa nodded her head at him.

Yoh went and sat down next to the boy with the glasses, who grinned at him. "Hey man, I'm Simon, the rooster over there is Kaede." He said, pointing at the tall Japanese girl with the Mohawk. "The girl in her lap is Imelda, in case you couldn't tell, they are very in love." Imelda made a rude gesture at him. "The reading girl is Hiba." The girl in the headscarf waved absentmindedly. "The oversized smurf is Viggo." The big blue man nodded his head, almost dislodging the snake that was curled around his neck, head resting on top of his. "The snake is Charlie."

"Wait, wasn't Charlie the corgi?" Yoh asked, confused.

"Charlie is whatever Charlie wants to be." Viggo said in a deep, slow voice. Yoh looked up as he heard a yelp. Hao's staff was on the floor and he was shaking his hand out. He got down slowly, watching Marissa the entire time, and picked up the staff again.

Marissa moved forward and rearranged his grip on the staff, talking to him softly. He kept his eyes on her the whole time, nodding his head in agreement to whatever she said. They moved back away from each other again, taking up ready stances. Yoh noticed how skinny Hao was, and the way he moved. He'd always had a certain grace about him, but now he moved almost tentatively. Yoh wondered if it was in part due to being off-balance with his right arm gone.

Marissa moved to attack, and Hao put up his staff, fending her off with some difficulty. It was clear who the master and who the student was. Yoh could see that Hao was letting her get too close and just as he thought that Marissa swept out with her leg and knocked Hao onto his back.

"Ouch." Simon commented, wincing theatrically. "Wanna know the worst part?" he asked Yoh.

"What?" Yoh asked.

"She's being gentle with him." Simon said with a laugh. "if it was one of us, she'd be faster, hitting harder, but she's going slow, taking his physical conditions into account. Now, you wanna see scary, should see her with those swords of hers."

"Perhaps a demonstration is in order." Yoh looked up at the Scottish accent. He found himself looking up at a tall being. She, at least, Yoh thought they were a she, looked to have come from the same type of creature as Viggo did, but she looked almost human, except for her bright blue skin and red eyes. She grinned at him, showing off a chipped tooth.

"My lass, didn't know you were taking in strays again." She said, striding out towards Marissa. Marissa held up a hand to Hao, halting their training.

"My kids brought this one in actually." Marissa replied. "Hao Asakura, this is Emilia Smith, swordmaster."

"Just Emmy's fine." The woman said. Hao said something quietly and the woman laughed. "Oh yes, I do have both."

"Emmy's got girl and boy parts." Simon said to Yoh. "Shi's what you might call a hermaphrodite, most frost giants are. Poor Viggo got the short end of the stick and only got boy parts. His lovely fellows bullied him and then banished him from the planet."

"So frost giants are aliens?" Yoh asked, confused.

"Yup." Simon replied. He explained the pronouns and added as an aside that Charlie had no gender and the pronouns that they were supposed to use with zer. Yoh made a mental note to get a more complete explanation later. Emmy was speaking with Hao, examining his arm and his grip on the staff.

"If you decide you want a blade, you come to me, you understand?" Emmy said loudly.

"It's a little early to be thinking about that." Marissa replied while Hao nodded in agreement.

"Never too early." Emmy snorted. "Now, shoo." Shi said, patting his bottom and shoving him gently towards the edge of the mats. Hao walked over and Simon shifted over so that he could sit between him and Kaede. Yoh tried to hide his surprise as Simon slung a casual arm around Hao's shoulders.

A tiger trotted over to the mats, a pair of sheathed swords clenched in its jaws. Marissa took them with thanks and Emmy immediately started cooing and scratching under the tiger's chin affectionately. The tiger, who Yoh figured was Charlie, responded by rippling a rainbow of colours through zer fur. Charlie then trotted back, turned into a corgi and plunked zirself in Hao's lap.

Marissa unsheathed her swords, a pair of twin sabres, as Emmy kicked off hir boots and shrugged off hir jacket. Hir arms were covered in scars of various sizes and forms, but shi was muscular as well as curvaceous. If you didn't know that shi wasn't completely female, you would not have been able to guess it. Shi took something off the necklace she was wearing and all the sudden shi was holding a massive broadsword in hir hand.

Shi moved, a surge of muscle, swinging that massive blade of hirs. Marissa blocked it with her own blades and the two of them began fighting in earnest with those on the sidelines shouting encouragements. Yoh couldn't stop his jaw dropping from the speed and ferocity at which the two of them attacked each other. Even Amidamaru commented in a small voice that he'd probably be hard pressed to beat either one of them.

Emmy finally got the better of Marissa, knocking her down on her back and pressing hir sword point to her throat. "Yield?" Emmy asked.

"I yield." Marissa replied. Emmy retracted hir blade and offered a hand to Marissa, helping her back to her feet. Marissa bowed to Emmy, who bowed back as the applause started. Yoh looked around, realizing that they'd drawn quite the audience.

"Everybody likes to see the two of them go at each other." Simon commented to Hao. "Not many people choose a blade as a weapon anymore, you know."

"Are you done now?" Anna demanded peevishly. Emmy was examining Marissa's swords and gave her a jaundiced look.

"I think a good spanking would not have been amiss in your childhood, girl." Shi commented idly. "As well as a lesson in manners." Shi handed the sword back to Marissa. "I should go find my partner, I did escape from the infirmary after all."

"One of these days she's going to put a leash on you." Marissa said. Yoh noticed Hiba whispering urgently to Hao about something.

"Can we accompany you to find your partner?" Hiba asked. "I have questions."

"Of course, lass." Emmy said, smiling broadly. "She'll be happy to see you, too."

"The training room is free for use now." Marissa said, pulling on shoes. "Come on, kids." Simon, Hao and the others got up and followed Marissa and Emmy out. The rest of the audience left as well. Yoh didn't miss the annoyed looks towards Anna as they did. Yoh sighed; they really didn't need to be causing trouble here.

%&%&%&%

Hao would have once found the 'circle of protection' that his friends had made around him annoying, but he was just grateful for their presence now. He'd heard stories about the magic user they were going to see, what she could do, and what she was willing to do. He knew she was one of the ones who would have been tasked to stop him if he'd succeeded in becoming Shaman King, so, he was a little nervous meeting her.

"Tess is a pussycat." Emmy said, apparently seeing his nervousness. "In more ways than one. She does get rather testy when she thinks I'm taking too many risks though."

"I can't imagine why." A smooth voice said from the shadows, almost a purr. "It's not as though you dive headfirst into danger, is it?"

A figure stepped from the shadows, and if Hao had thought he was done being surprised by the people in this place, he found he was completely wrong. The woman put him in mind of Egyptian gods, the animal headed ones. She looked like a black leopard that had been given the power to walk as a man. Long black dreads were pulled back from her face by a colourful length of string. Similar strings of all colours were tied around her wrists and lashing tail. Yellow, slit-pupil eyes regarded Hao and he nearly took a step back, seeing the animal in those eyes, leashed, but ever present.

"I will not bite." She said, mouth curling up in amusement to reveal wicked sharp teeth. "I know who you are, Hao Asakura, do you know who I am?"

"I know you are the sorceress who would have tried to kill me." Hao said.

"Tess Coulson." She replied, sticking out a paw struggling to be a hand. He took it, tentatively, and felt magic dance over his skin. "Hmm, interesting." She mused quietly.

"Hao had a question for you." Hiba said respectfully.

"Let me guess, it has to do with the loss of your powers?" Tess asked, whiskers twitching.

"I just want to know if it's ever possible for me to get any sort of power back." Hao admitted, fidgeting under her stare.

"There's a break room around here, I can do a check on you there." Tess said. She turned to Emmy, eyes narrowed. "I haven't forgotten about you, though."

"I'd be hurt if you had." Emmy said, hand over hir heart. Tess snorted and moved off, tail waving behind her. Her manner of dressed was cultured, a pair of neat grey slacks and a green silk shirt with a black waistcoat overtop of it. She wore no shoes since her legs were digitigrade, so she was essentially walking on her toes.

Hao followed her, heart in his throat. "Relax." Tess said, her voice almost a purr. She sat down on a break room couch. "You are not a target of mine anymore."

"I guess that's reassuring." Hao said, sitting down next to her.

"What is your question?" Tess asked.

"You know I had my powers ripped from me." Hao began. "Can you tell if there is ever a way of getting them back?"

Tess looked at him for a long moment and then held out her hand, claws retracted. "Take my hand, I need a physical contact to see inside you like that." She said. Hao hesitantly put his hand in hers, feeling the rough pads on the palm of her hand. "Hold still, this might feel a little strange."

Hao watched as threads of pale gold light appeared to come out of her hand and sink into his. Her yellow eyes turned vague, as though she'd gone into a trance. Hao could feel her magic inside him, seeking out whatever she was looking for. He could feel her in the magic, the combination of calm logic, and animalistic desires warring for control every second of every day.

After a minute or so she pulled away, shaking her head to clear it. "I'm afraid whoever took your powers did it in such a way that they basically tore it out of you, like a limb is torn from a body." She said. "When magic is taken in such violence, the soul becomes scarred, and magic can no longer take a hold in that soul."

"So, what you're saying is I can't get power back, ever?" Hao asked.

"That is precisely what I am saying." Tess said, her voice heavy with regret.

"Good." Hao sighed.

"Good?" Tess repeated, head cocked in interest.

"I worried, that if I got my power back, the temptation to become what I used to be would be too strong for me to resist." Hao explained. "It's better this way. I didn't do much good when I had it anyways."

"I think you put too little faith in yourself." Tess said. "But, as long as you are happy. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to make sure that mate of mine has not damaged hirself further by fighting after taking three bullets in the stomach."


	12. Chapter 12

Star: I own nothing!

Hao woke up, hyperventilating and grabbing at the place where his arm used to be, convinced he could feel the metal being driven into that arm again. "Hey, hey!" Simon's voice said. "Okay, easy now, you're safe, you're in your room, you're with me, Viggo and Charlie, you're safe, Hao. Breathe with me."

Hao sat up, struggling to control his breathing, to make it slow and even like Simon's. A couple times he faltered and began gasping again, but slowly he got his breathing under control. He was shaking still though and Charlie deposited zirself in his lap, providing an anchor to reality for him.

"Thank you." He whispered when he was feeling a little steadier. His hand trembled as he stroked Charlie's head, and cold sweat ran down his back, but he felt a little better. "I think I want to go outside for a bit."

"You want me or Viggo to come?" Simon asked.

"No, just Charlie." Hao said. "You need your sleep."

"So do you." Simon replied.

"I need it less than you, I'm not the one on call for superhero duties, and Charlie can just go to sleep in my lap if ze wants." Hao replied.

"Alright." Simon sighed. "You call us on the comm if you need us, you hear?"

"I know." Hao said. He got up, putting on his boots, sweatpants and hoodie and walked out of the room, Charlie trotting on his heels. He walked up the stairs, because he could now without feeling like he was going to pass out, and came out onto the roof.

Someone was crying up there. Hao halted and peered into the darkness. He saw a shape huddled there ahead of him, the spiky brown hair unmistakable even in just the light of the moon. Yoh was crying softly, as though he was trying not to be heard, despite the fact that he should have been alone.

Charlie, not liking listening to people cry, whined softly and looked up at Hao. Hao jerked his head at Yoh, giving Charlie permission to go over and see him. Charlie trotted over and pawed at Yoh, whining unhappily.

"Oh, hi Charlie." Yoh said, his voice watery. Charlie climbed up onto him and licked his chin. Hao stayed where he was, not sure if he should do something. After a moment Yoh spoke again. "You rescued Hao from the X-Laws, didn't you? They're the only people I know who would do that to him. And you know what? The only reason they got a hold of him was because I injured him, because I tried to kill him. Now he's powerless, weak and only has one arm, all because of me."

Hao moved then, striding forward and kneeling in front of Yoh, who looked at him in shock, dark brown eyes bloodshot and teary. "No, don't do this to yourself Yoh, it's not your fault." Hao insisted. "You did what needed to be done, you stopped me from killing billions of innocent lives, that's all. The rest is the X-Laws' fault."

"You don't… you don't blame me?" Yoh asked incredulously.

"I did at first." Hao admitted. "But the only thing for me to do between torture sessions was think, and I came to the realization that it wasn't fair to blame you for the X-Laws. If anything it was my own fault. The X-Laws would not exist if not for me. My therapist tells me I shouldn't blame myself for them though. She says people like that would have found some other cause to rally behind anyways. Have you been holding onto this guilt since our last battle?"

"I thought I killed you." Yoh answered. "I thought I killed my own brother, and I just kept thinking if I'd tried harder, that I wouldn't have had to do it. But, thinking I'd killed you was better than knowing you'd been captured by the X-Laws, at least if you were dead you weren't suffering."

"Yoh, listen to me." Hao said. "You did good, you stopped me from destroying the world. You did good. What happened beyond that is not your fault. I'm grateful you stopped me." He added softly.

"You.. you are?" Yoh asked in disbelief.

"I know a lot of the people here by name, most of them are just ordinary people trying to make a difference in the world." Hao said. "There are people here who have helped me despite knowing what I've done and what I meant to do. There are people here who believe in me. I would have killed them all without a second thought if not for you. I'm grateful for that."

Yoh sniffed, and then in a move that nearly sent Hao into a panic attack, wrapped his arms around Hao, hugging him tightly. Hao stiffened, but he felt Yoh rest his head on his shoulder and resume weeping, so he hugged Yoh as much as he could with one arm. Yoh cried himself out on Hao's shoulder and then just sat there, cheek resting against Hao's right shoulder.

"Sorry, you must think I'm pretty stupid, crying like this." Yoh murmured.

"Before I got up here tonight I was hyperventilating and crying because of a nightmare." Hao replied. "I frequently wake up crying, I'm on antidepressants, I don't think you're stupid, or weak for crying."

"You're on antidepressants?" Yoh asked.

"The weight of my past misdeeds is heavy on me." Hao said. "Sometimes it's hard to see a future where I deserve to live. The antidepressants help."

"Oh." Yoh said softly.

"I think you should have a talk with my therapist sometime." Hao said, worried about Yoh. "She's helped me a lot."

"Okay." Yoh said. He sounded so weary Hao's heart ached. Yoh lifted his head from Hao's shoulder and touched the right sleeve of his hoodie. "Can I, can I touch it? It just seems so unreal to me."

"You and me both some days." Hao replied, shrugging the hoodie off his right shoulder. Yoh reached out a hesitant hand. "It doesn't hurt." Hao assured him. Yoh touched the scarring there and Hao shivered slightly at the cold of his hand.

"What happened?" Yoh asked. "Did Marco just cut off your arm?"

"No. He had my arm pinned to the wall with metal stakes through my arm. Left a water bottle just out of reach as a new torture method for him to enjoy." Hao explained. "When they finally got me to Medical, the arm was infected so badly and I was so weak that they had to remove the arm to save my life."

"Is it hard to deal with?" Yoh asked, taking his hand away.

"Not so much now, but in the beginning it was difficult learning how to do things one-handed." Hao said. "My friends helped a lot, especially when I got frustrated."

"You call them your friends." Yoh said, sounding surprised.

"I'm not sure friends is actually the best word." Hao replied. "Family might be better."

"Is there room for me in that family?" Yoh asked hopefully.

"You'd want that?" Hao asked. "After all I've done?" Yoh nodded his head solemnly. Charlie bounced in his lap and licked his face, tail wagging happily. "Well, Charlie approves. I'm not sure it's a good idea for you to be seen too much with me though, especially if more of your family and allies will be showing up."

"It would put you in danger, wouldn't it?" Yoh said.

"No, anyone who tried to attack me might find themselves with a few less limbs." Hao said. "My friends are fiercely protective of their own. As goofy as they can seem, they can get real scary, real fast, especially Marissa."

"She's definitely got a momma bear vibe to her." Yoh said. He shifted until he was sitting next to Hao, their shoulders brushing. "You're so much smaller than me now."

"Malnutrition, messed up my growth cycle." Hao said. "Doctor says I probably won't grow much taller than this. It's okay, small's good, less of a target to hit."

"I can't believe how fast your Marissa moves." Yoh commented. "Amidamaru said he might not be able to beat her in a sword fight."

"Apparently Emmy's teaching methods are to basically drop you right into a fight and hope you survive. Marissa had to learn to be fast, or else." Hao said. "Really glad she doesn't use that method with me."

"She's not afraid to dump you on your behind though." Yoh pointed out.

"That way I remember that I shouldn't do that, or do something better, because I don't want to be dumped on my behind again." Hao replied. Yoh huffed out a laugh and leaned his head over to rest it on Hao's.

"This is nice." He commented after a few minutes of silence. "Just being able to talk together."

"It is." Hao agreed.

"I don't want to go back to bed." Yoh sighed.

"I often don't." Hao admitted. "Just sit up here until breakfast time."

"Sounds good to me." Yoh said, scratching behind Charlie's ears.

%&%&%&%

Yoh woke up to the sound of Charlie woofing softly, and Hao getting up from beside him. He blinked and rubbed at his eyes, wondering when he'd dozed off. He looked up to see Marissa getting into a yoga pose, and Hao following her lead. He was less steady than she was, but he was a lot better than Yoh would be.

Charlie yawned and flipped zirself over in Yoh's lap, exposing zer chubby belly. He rubbed zer belly absentmindedly, watching Hao and Marissa go through their yoga poses as the sun came up. Yoh couldn't help but stare at the slits in Marissa's neck, not sure if he should ask about them or not.

"You're staring." Marissa said evenly.

"Oh, sorry." Yoh said. He decided just to come right out and ask. "The slits in your neck, are they injuries?"

"They're gills." She replied calmly. "I'm a mutant." She lifted her hands to the sky, splaying her fingers, and Yoh could see webbing between them.

"Is Charlie a mutant too?" Yoh asked.

"With the exception of Hao, Viggo and Hiba, all of mine are mutants." Marissa replied. Yoh didn't miss the small smile on Hao's face at Marissa's words. Apparently he liked being one of hers. "As for their abilities, I'll let them decide if they feel like telling you."

"That's fair." Yoh said. "Why does Charlie choose to be a corgi so much?"

"Because ze enjoys the attention ze gets." Hao replied. "Ze's an attention whore." Charlie barked at him indignantly. "You are Charlie, and you know it."

"Alright you two, no arguing." Marissa said, smiling faintly. "Couple more poses and we can go down for breakfast." Yoh's stomach growled, reminding him that he hadn't eaten much since he'd gotten to this base, anxious to the point of nausea most of the time.

Neither Hao or Yoh bothered to get dressed before heading down to the mess hall. Marissa disappeared in the hallways, probably to get herself dressed. Hao's friends were already sitting down to breakfast and had a tray waiting for him. Yoh went to get his own tray and when he came back Hao was sandwiched between Simon and Imelda, having an animated discussion about the original Star Trek versus Next Generations. Yoh sat down next to Kaede, and immediately had a lap full of Charlie.

"Hello." He said to Kaede.

"Hello." She replied, and then went back to eating.

"Don't mind Kaede, we're still training her to be nice to people." Simon said.

"I know where you sleep at night." Kaede said calmly. "And I will set fire to your bed."

"Aww, you've been threatening that for years." Simon said, grinning at her.

"I don't want Marissa to have to deal with the paperwork." Kaede said.

"Thank you for that." Marissa said, sitting down on Yoh's other side. "Watch Charlie, ze will try and steal your bacon."

Charlie lolled zer tongue out of zer mouth, trying to look innocent. "I see how it is." Yoh said, scratching zer ears. "Act all cute and people will give you things, or you can steal them away and they don't mind." Charlie gave him a sad-puppy look. "Alright, here." Yoh gave zer a piece of bacon, which ze scarfed down quickly.

"Yoh, what are you doing?" Lyserg asked, frowning at him. Yoh's friends had all come down for breakfast and were just standing there.

"Eating breakfast." Yoh replied.

"Yes, but… why here?" Lyserg asked.

"Well, I'm kind of stuck." Yoh said, patting Charlie's head. Charlie panted happily, but Lyserg just frowned at zer. Hao had fallen silent, despite Simon and Imelda trying to coax him back into the conversation. "Sit down, guys. Eat."

"We don't bite, much." Simon joked. Reluctantly, Yoh's friends sat down. The look on Anna's face suggested that Yoh was going to be in trouble later, but he ignored that for now, partly because Charlie was trying to steal more of his breakfast.

"We were worried, dude, you weren't around when we woke up this morning." Horohoro said.

"Sorry, couldn't sleep." Yoh said. "Went up to the roof to clear my mind. Charlie found me." He didn't mention Hao, figuring that wasn't wise.

"He's Charlie's squishie now." Hiba said, prompting snickers from the others.

"What does that mean?" Ren demanded. "You're making him into a pet?"

"Good god, it's from a movie, calm down kid." Kaede said, rolling her eyes. "We're not serious."

"We're hardly ever serious." Simon added. "Even when we're supposed to be."

"To my eternal dismay." Marissa sighed. Yoh blinked as Hao abruptly got up and chased after a chubby middle-aged woman.

"Oh hey, it's Mati." Hiba said. "Ooh, I've got a session with her today, I almost forgot."

"I didn't." Marissa replied. "Yours is right after mine."

"Who is Mati?" Yoh asked curiously, seeing Hao having a serious conversation with the woman.

"Therapist." Simon replied.

"Therapist?" Horohoro asked incredulously, beginning to laugh. "The great Hao Asakura sees a therapist?"

His laughter died as every one of the Omega team glared at him. "We all see a therapist, you think that's funny?" Kaede snarled. "Because last I checked, having issues with the things you've seen and done is nothing to be ashamed of."

"But it's Hao!" Horohoro protested.

"A thousand years' worth of demons will burden any mind, no matter how strong they seem." Marissa said quietly. "Most of the field agents here are veterans, they have seen some shit, and yet almost all of them will still go to see their therapist after a mission. Mental and emotional issues are not something to be laughed at, and if I hear anyone taunting anyone about their therapy you will answer to me."

Horohoro gulped and looked down; all of them had seen her prowess with her blades and didn't want to see what else she had up her sleeve. Hao came back to the table and sat down. He seemed calmer than he had before he'd gone to talk to Mati.

"Alright, Skywalker?" Simon asked him. Hao nodded his head and Simon launched into a rant about the newest Indiana Jones movie, which, surprisingly, Hao seemed to follow. Yoh just shook his head and returned to his breakfast.


	13. Chapter 13

Star: I own nothing!

"You bitch!" Hao and Simon yelled as their kart was blue-shelled just before crossing the finish line in first place. Kaede just laughed at the two of them as they came in dead last.

"Suck it, assholes." She said cheerfully. "Give the controller to Charlie now like good little boys." Hao handed off the Wii remote to Charlie, who turned into a Klingon so ze could play. Simon kept his arm around Hao's shoulders as they watched the next round of Mario Kart.

"So how are you holding up?" Simon asked.

"I'm okay." Hao assured him.

"Haven't been sleeping much." Simon pointed out, gesturing at the dark circles around his eyes.

"It'll get better." Hao said. "It helps that I've spoken to Yoh now. Don't worry, if I find it's too much I'll let you know."

"Good, 'cause this isn't the only SHIELD base and we'd rather move than have you turn into a basket case." Simon said. The thought that all of them would uproot themselves from their home and move just to keep him happy made Hao feel warm and he leaned against Simon.

"I need to fact this, to face the people that I've wronged." He said. "It's going to hurt, but I need to do it."

"We get it, don't worry." Simon replied. "Just don't be making yourself sick trying to atone for the things you've done, alright?"

"Alright." Hao agreed. The two of them watched as Charlie, Kaede, Imelda and Viggo competed for first place.

"Some superheroes, sitting around playing video games." Anna scoffed from the doorway into the break room.

"And what would you have us do, train until we dropped dead of exhaustion?" Kaede asked. "Hiba's getting some help with her magic right now and we just got out of the Situation Room. Marissa ain't about to burn us out, can't save anyone if we're overtired you know."

"You could at least do something more productive than stupid games." Anna sneered. "Why not use whatever brain cells you have left to you instead of wasting time?"

"Do I hear a challenge?" Simon inquired. "These games are a lot harder than you think, do you wanna have a go at them, if you're so clever, you should be able to beat us no problem."

"Hmph, as if I'd waste my time." Anna sniffed disdainfully.

"What, you chicken?" Simon said, making chicken noises and generally acting the fool. "Worried us fools can kick your ass at something? No, what about the rest of you, care to try your hand at beating the dream team?" He squeezed Hao's shoulder, grinning widely.

"Hao Asakura plays video games, with one arm?" Horohoro laughed. "This I gotta see, give me one of those controllers."

Ren and Lyserg, who were probably looking to try and make Hao look foolish, took a controller as well, while Charlie passed zer controller back to Hao and changed back into a corgi to plunk zirself in his lap. Yoh sat down on Simon's other side and gave Hao a discreet smile. Hao and Simon each grabbed an end of the controller and got ready. Horohoro started laughing at them.

"Oh, this is going to be too easy." He snickered.

"Yes, but for whom?" Imelda asked, grinning widely. Horohoro glanced at her and then shrugged, completely discounting her opinion.

"Ready for this?" Simon asked Hao.

"I was born ready." Hao replied in the haughty tone that never failed to make Simon laugh. Simon did laugh and got the game started. The two of them proceeded to dominate the race, effortlessly working together as they had for months now. Hao found himself grinning for the first time in days as they got to the finish line and Simon let out a victory screech.

"Hey no fair, you guys know how to play this game." Horohoro whined.

"Hey, you were the one who thought it was going to be easy to beat a cripple." Simon pointed out. "Well, me and Young Skywalker proved you wrong, didn't we."

"Why do you keep calling him that?" Lyserg demanded.

"Because he's lost an arm, and so did both Anakin and Luke in Star Wars." Simon replied.

"Which one am I?" Hao asked.

"Well, there's the whole Dark Side thing going on with Anakin, so I'd say you're Vader, baby." Simon said. "At least you aren't a whiny bitch like Anakin was in the prequel trilogy."

"They're making more." Hiba said.

"I know!" Simon called.

"I know you know, I just like to remind you to annoy you." Hiba said sweetly.

"The way you two move together is amazing." Yoh said.

"Thanks. Took us many late nights of frustration to get to this point." Simon said. "Man, when he's cleared for active duty, the two of us are going to be the unstoppable team, it's gonna be great."

"He'll betray you, once he's figured out how to get his power back." Lyerg said, matter-of-factly.

"Pretty hard for me to do that." Hao said. "I've been told that I will never be able to use magic again, the manner in which my power was taken from me was violent enough to leave what Tess calls 'scars', preventing magic from taking hold in me again."

"Like I believe that." Lyserg snapped.

"Why don't you take your bad attitude and go away?" Kaede suggested. "We're not forcing you to hang around us and there's plenty of other break rooms in this place. Because trust me, if you keep pissing me off like this, I'm going to set something attached to you on fire."

"Don't you have any idea of what's he's done?" Lyserg demanded.

"We do and we don't give a fuck." Kaede snarled. "He's ours now, and if you wanna hurt him, you gotta go through us. Now back off before I lose my temper, that goes for all of you."

"Come on guys." Yoh said softly. "Let's find somewhere to spar for a bit." Hao caught his eye for a moment and Yoh gave him an apologetic smile. Hao shrugged his shoulders and turned back to the game.

"You shouldn't start fights over me." He said when Yoh and his friends had gone.

"You're one of us, of course we're going to start fights over you." Simon said. "We're family, we watch each other's backs, no matter what. What's that kid's beef with you anyways?"

"I killed his parents." Hao admitted quietly.

"So he's out for revenge." Imelda said. "We can understand that." She shrugged. "But, you're one of ours, so we can't let him do that."

"I can't let you do that Dave." Hao and Simon chorused automatically.

"Goddamn it." Hao muttered, making the rest of them laugh. "This doesn't change anything?"

"Look, we knew what we were getting into when we adopted you into our group. Marissa made sure of that." Viggo said in that slow, calm way of his. "We are not exactly innocent either. Everyone we killed has family somewhere. You have suffered enough though."

"I don't know that I have." Hao said. Simon gave him a side-hug.

"You have, trust me, you have." He said. "And, you're trying to make up for all the bad shit you've done."

"When you put it like that…" Hao said, smiling faintly.

"Atta boy." Simon cheered. "Don't be dwelling on bad shit, it's not good for you."

"I'll try." Hao said. "It's just hard with all these people from my past around, and I get the feeling it's just going to get harder."

%&%&%&%

Hao slowed down as he completed his fourth circuit of the running path he and Imelda took in the mornings. Imelda kept going, waving at him as she disappeared around a corner. Hao sat down, grabbing his water bottle off the ground and took a big gulp of it. Charlie bounced over to him, panting and wagging zer tail happily.

"You're just having the time of your life, aren't you?" Hao said, scratching zer ears. Ze whuffed in agreement, and plunked zirself in his lap, Hao chuckled and took another gulp from his water bottle. He knew better than to try and push himself too much. Last time he'd tried he'd wound up in Medical with Doctor Doshi lecturing him on safety while exercising.

He looked up as a shadow fell over him, and his grip tightened on his water bottle at the sight of Luchist. Of course he wouldn't be able to avoid him forever. Charlie growled softly, picking up on his unease and Hao shushed zer gently.

"Hao-sama." Luchist began, and Hao flinched. Images of fire and death rose up in his mind.

"Don't call me that." He said softly, insides churning in anxiety. "What do you want, Luchist?"

"We are waiting for you to lead us, Hao-sama." Luchist replied.

"Don't call me that!" Hao said. Luchist looked taken aback.

"Why not?" He asked.

"Because all I can see when you call me that are the lives I destroyed, all I can see is fire and death." Hao said. "Hao-sama is gone, he died in a dark, damp cell. I can't be who you want me to be because that person does not exist anymore."

"What do you mean, Hao-sama?" Luchist asked. Hao fought the urge to scream, to claw at his own skin. He wrapped his arm around himself and shut his eyes tight, struggling to breathe.

"I think it's time for you to leave." Imelda said, stepping I between Luchist and Hao and folding her arms across her chest. It was almost comical, this short, stocky girl facing off against a tall, muscular man. Imelda could turn Luchist inside out without much effort though.

"Why?" Luchist demanded.

"Because you are upsetting my friend and I don't like it." Imelda replied. "And people that upset my friends usually wind up going for a flight."

"You think you can threaten me?" Luchist scoffed.

"I can lift a tank, I can punch a hole in concrete, what do you think I can do to you?" Imelda snarled.

"Imelda." Hao croaked out. "He's not worth it." He looked up at Luchist. "Stay away from me. I am not your leader anymore. Just please, stay away from me."

Luchist took a step back, looking hurt. Hao deliberately looked away from him though. He didn't need this right now, not while he was already drowning in self-loathing. He didn't need more reminders of the awful person he'd been. Finally he heard Luchist walk away.

Imelda sat down beside him and put an arm around his shoulders. He leaned into the comforting touch. "You okay?" Imelda asked.

"Not right now." Hao replied. "But I think I will be."


	14. Chapter 14

Star: I own nothing!

Hao watched the team in the Situation room below him. He was helping Marissa with the programming, suggesting how to make things a little more interesting for the team and watching as they dodged obstacles in an effort to get to their goal. Today's end game was to last ten minutes without getting hit or trapped by something.

"They're looking good." He commented.

"They do good work." Marissa replied proudly. "So do you."

"I don't do that much." Hao protested.

"You do enough." Marissa replied. "You're my second set of eyes, you don't think that's good work?"

"I guess so." Hao said, looking down.

"Hao?" Hao half-turned in his chair at the sound of the voice calling his name. He was just in time to get punched right in the face. The blow knocked him back into the control panel for the Situation room, pressing a lot of buttons. Marissa slammed her hand down on the emergency stop button and an alarm sounded in the Situation room.

Hao blinked rapidly a few times, trying to clear his watering eyes and looked up in time to see Marissa plant herself between him, and a clearly angry Silva. "What in god's name makes you think that was a good idea?" Marissa demanded, her voice soft and cold. Hao shivered slightly; he hardly saw Marissa this angry. "Not only have you attacked a SHIELD operative, but in doing so you put my kids in danger. You're lucky none of them saw you do that, otherwise you would need the hospital."

"I..I.." Silva stuttered. Whatever he was going to say was cut off by the Omega team storming into the room.

"What in the hell just happened?" Kaede demanded. She then saw Hao, who was still sitting, trying to staunch the flow of blood from his nose. "Alright, who am I killing?" She snarled. Her snarl was echoed by Charlie's, who turned into a tiger and planted zirself in front of Hao protectively. Silva, Kalim and Goldva began to look nervous.

"Why is he here?" Kalim demanded.

"We rescued him from the X-Laws, they were torturing him." Simon replied. "He's ours now."

"You should have left him where you found him." Silva said softly.

"Excuse me?" Kaede demanded, her skin beginning to glow. "What did you just say?"

"Kaede." Marissa said softly. Kaede snarled and stomped out of the room, still glowing.

"Uh oh." Simon said. "Look down." Hao looked down into the Situation room in time to see Kaede's fire explode outwards from her.

"Great Spirit."Goldva whispered.

"It's not a wise idea to anger my kids, or me." Marissa said calmly. Kaede was hovering in the middle of the destroyed Situation room now, a vaguely human shape made out of fire. "Oh dear, we're going to need a new Situation room." She sighed.

"That coulda been you." Simon commented. Hiba walked over to Hao.

"Let me see." She said gently. Hao took his hand away from his nose and she carefully probed at it. "No breaks." She announced.

"Good, I don't have to explain to Doctor Doshi why I'm in his care again." Hao said, wiping away more blood. Kaede came stomping back in. "Better?" He asked her.

"Little bit." She replied shortly. "Still feel like setting someone on fire though." She glared at the three Patch.

"Goldva, are you three all that's left?" Hao asked quietly, fearing the worst.

"No, the others chose to go to a safe location to protect the rest of the tribe." Goldva said after a moment.

"Thank god." Hao murmured, rubbing his face. "Why are you here?"

"To assist in bringing down the X-Laws, apparently." Goldva said. "You look like you've been through hell."

"No, hell was a picnic compared to what I was put through." Hao replied with a wry smile. "Yoh and his friends are here."

"They're alright?" Silva asked hopefully.

"None of them are hurt." Hao replied. "Yoh will be happy to see you, I think."

"You've spoken?" Silva asked, sounding surprised.

"Nice kid." Simon commented. "Not sure I like his friends."

"That's just because they don't like me." Hao told him.

"Yeah, and?" Simon asked. Hao shook his head at him.

"Alright kids, since Kaede broke the Situation room, we're going to take training outside." Marissa said. "Hao, Charlie, see if you can round up some victims for us."

"Okay, boss." Hao said. He ignored the startled look that Silva gave him and got up.

"And clean up your face, you look like a zombie." Marissa called after him as he left.

"Yes, mother!" Hao called back.

%&%&%&%

Yoh couldn't sleep again, so he got up to wander the hallways. He found Silva wandering as well, looking lost. "Hey, Silva, where you trying to go?" Yoh asked.

"Outside, but I think I got turned around." Silva replied, scratching his head in confusion.

"Come on, I'll take you to the roof." Yoh said.

"Why are you up?" Silva asked, following Yoh to the elevator.

"Nightmares." Yoh replied evenly. "I've been talking to a therapist though, so I hope it gets better. How is the rest of the Patch doing?"

"They're shaken up, but holding strong." Silva said. "I only hope we three are enough for the coming battle."

"I know what you mean." Yoh said. "Who knows how many the X-Laws have managed to recruit." The elevator opened up into the night air. "Enough talk of doom and gloom, let's enjoy the night."

"Of course." Silva said, looking up at the star-studded sky. Yoh spotted a figure sitting on the edge of the roof and ambled over, having a good idea of who it was.

"Hi Hao." He said as he got close. Hao turned to look at him.

"Hello." He said. He was sitting on the roof ledge, legs dangling over the side.

"Not thinking of jumping, are you?" Yoh asked cautiously.

"No." Hao said. "Not only is it not high enough to kill me, but Charlie wouldn't let me." Charlie poked zer head over Hao's shoulder. Yoh was surprised when ze growled at Silva.

"What? Why is ze doing that?" Yoh asked.

"Well, Silva did punch me in the face and then said that they should have left me to be tortured by the X-Laws." Hao explained calmly. Yoh turned and gave Silva a stern look.

"In my defence it's been a rough few days." Silva said.

"He said that and he's still alive?" A low voice asked from the shadows. "My, my, Marissa's kids are mellowing out."

"Not really." Hao said, as Tess Coulson, the feline mage, stepped out of the shadows. "Kaede destroyed the Situation room by going nova."

"Ahh, that also explains why so many agents have bruises and limps." Tess said, walking over to Hao. "Outside training course, highly entertaining." She circled around Yoh and Silva and Yoh had to suppress the thought that she was coming in for the kill. The fact that she was wearing an oversized t-shirt and a pair of boxers made her no less intimidating. "Interesting."

"What?" Yoh asked.

"Oh, I always enjoy meeting different magic users and seeing how their magical auras compare." Tess explained.

"You see magic?" Silva asked.

"Took many years, but yes, I can see and sense magic." Tess said calmly. "it has its uses in this business."

"What're you doing out here?" Yoh asked as Tess sat down beside Hao.

"Inspecting the wards." She replied. "The magic wards around this base prevent people from finding people who are inside, whether it be by divination, scrying, blood magic or what. Call me paranoid but I worry about their strength. I've never had to hide so many magic users in one location."

"You must be pretty powerful then." Yoh said. Tess shrugged.

"I don't find myself especially powerful, no. It's all about how you use your powers. Wards are something that I can pour magic into and leave for several months before coming back to renew them." She explained. "It's not terribly power-consuming, but the spellwork is complicated."

She reached out to scratch Charlie's ears. "Seems like everyone's awake tonight." Hao commented.

"SHIELD's a bunch of insomniacs." Tess said easily. "For instance there's a ping pong tournament going on downstairs, with Emmy as the reigning champion."

Yoh sat down on Hao's other side and after a moment's hesitation, Silva sat down with them. Charlie growled at him again. "I learned my lesson the first time." Silva said sheepishly. "I acted and spoke out of anger."

"You're not the only one who feels that way." Hao informed him. "You're just the only one unlucky enough to take a shot at me, so ze doesn't much like you right now, none of my friends do."

"Friends?" Silva repeated, sounding more curious than scornful to Yoh's ears.

"Better word would be family." Hao admitted softly. "They took me in, helped to heal me, and have stood by my side through everything in the last few months."

"You okay?" Yoh asked, hearing the sad note in Hao's voice.

"As okay as I can be right now." Hao replied, looking at Yoh. The dark circles around his eyes had definitely gotten worse.

"Maybe it'd be better for you to be somewhere other than this base." Yoh suggested.

"My team and I have already discussed it, and I think it's best I stay. I will be needed soon anyways, if Marissa's guess about what's going to happen is any good. They usually are though." Hao said. "They've already told me if they think this is becoming too much for me, then they're taking me somewhere else, with or without my permission."

"That's not the only reason you want to stay though, is it?" Yoh asked, playing on a hunch. Hao closed his eyes and sighed softly.

"I need to face this." He said quietly. "I need to own up to it." Charlie whined and nuzzled him gently.

"Too much angst." Tess said. "I'm going to go see if Emmy's lodged any ping pong balls in the wall yet, come with me." She said to Hao. Charlie barked happily and pawed at Hao's shirt.

"Alright, alright." Hao said, getting to his feet. "Goodnight, Yoh, goodnight Silva."

"Goodnight Hao." Yoh said.

"He's… different." Silva commented when Yoh was gone. Yoh nodded his head. "Not broken, but…" He shook his head.

"Like he's still figuring out how to put himself back together." Yoh said.

"Yes, that's it." Silva said. The two of them fell silent, lost in private contemplation as the stars wheeled above.


End file.
